Last week I posted a blog entitled 10 signs you are not quilting enough. It was sad, I cried writing it. Readers grew despondent. I knew I had to come up with the opposite, a post about quilting too much.
Quilting too much? Is such a thing even possible. Probably not but let’s pretend it is. Let’s imagine what the signs you are quilting too much would be. Maybe we would really like them!
1. Everyone already has a quilt – Your family, your coworkers, your favorite checkout lady at the grocery store all have quilts. The mail delivery person, the garbage collectors and cute babies two blocks over all have quilts. Everyone has a quilt. Or three.
2. Quilts are your life. Your friends, conversation, books, clothing and hair style all reflect quilts. Your food, yes your food after you learned how to make Pigs in a Quilt on the Today show. (Pass that snack please.)
3. Threads everywhere. Your dryer vent needs cleaning, the baby is entwined to a chair and the dogs look like they are a long hair breed. Your clothes are not actually fringed but they look like they are.
4. You sew in bed. Yes, you do. Why waste those falling asleep moments so there are hexies in a bowl next to your bed. Quilts with binding to be sewn down are next to the commode for middle of the night visits and your dreams are all about sewing.
5. No food just fabric. Your kitchen would be considered clean if you could see it. Fabric in the cabinets and stacked in the oven. You do eat, don’t worry, but only at restaurants. (Hey, this is sounding pretty good.)
6. No bare space. Your beds have multiple quilts and extra ones in the closet. The walls are like a quilt museum. Babies for blocks around receive quilts while still in the hospital.
7. Your hair is great. You are happy so the hormones make your hair thick and luxurious. Plus, being at the hair salon is one place to catch up reading quilt magazines so you have frequent appointments.
8. Quilt shops flourish. Your picture is up on the wall at most of them as customer of the year. When they measure your yardage they always throw in an extra yard as you are buying in such bulk. Cheers go up when you walk in.
9. You exude happiness – You are pretty darn happy. You are constantly sewing and giving quilts to people. Of course you have been featured on the reality show “When Hobbies take over your Life” but you’re OK with that, you met some like minded people.
10. World peace. Yes, with all this happiness and nearly everyone bundled up in a quilt, can world peace be far behind?
I am thinking this might not be a bad thing, this quilting too much. I might not like it but then again I might.
Can I at least have #5?
Here’s an overplayed song that expresses these over quilters’ feelings.
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That was fun! How about another fun post? Try this one.