Tour de Quilting

The Tour de France is in the month of July, it’s known world wide and is wildly popular. In spite of numerous scandals, the race is followed by millions of people as the riders make their way along a month long course. There are daily winners and an overall champion. It has defined the world of cycling.

Let’s make quilting extremely popular as well by borrowing a page (a wheel?) from the the cyclists. Let’s have our own Tour de Quilting.a tour

Here’s how it would work.

3 weeks in July with 22 teams of 9 members just like the other Tour. Mais oui, pecial jerseys will be awarded.

Week One – Design, shop and cut

  • Every member designs a quilt.
  • The teams go as a group to shop, 3 teams per shop. Credit cards are allowed as well as cash. Team is timed, go!
  • Each member must cut out the entire designed quilt.

1 polka dot

Polka dot jersey is awarded for the best use of color. Judges are local quilt guild members.4 green

Green jersey is awarded this week for the team which spent the least money at the quilt store.

Points are tallied and the team which has the least amount of tears gets bonus points.

Creative snacking also will result in extra points.

At the end of the week quilters will be allowed to sharpen scissors, refill medications or even depart if needs be.

Any departing participants receive a UFO jersey. bsi_ufo02

This will confuse everyone but the quilters.

Week Two – Piecing

This is the week that will tell who are the quilters and who are the QUILTERS!

Thread and machines are distributed.

TV Cameras and cheering crowds arrive.

Ready? Set? Put your foot and on the pedal and piece quilters piece!

2 yellowThis week the team that finishes the most tops, everyone gets a yellow jersey.

Yes, you clever reader, that means if you work as a team and everyone helps their fellow quilter finish, they all win!

Extra points are awarded to teams which suffer no quilting mishaps – no burns, cuts or fingers stitched.

And we all know that piecing is more difficult the more pieces there are. Major extra points to the team which has the most pieces as a total team.

For a fun surprise, there is a thread count on the clothing of random quilters.

Whoever is sporting the most threads on their person gets bonus points.

Things are heating up!

They’ve drawn, shopped and cut.

They’ve sewn and helped each other.

Week three – Quilt it, baby

Yes, they are finishing the quilts this week. 5 white

Will all 22 teams have all their members finish?

Will anyone lose their thimble?

Who will get the bonus points for cleaning up all their scraps?

Who will try to clean up other people’s scraps?

Who will be the first to finish and wear the white jersey?

Who will win the Tour de Quilting?

6 rainbowNo surprise here, everyone who finishes the quilt is a winner and gets to wear the rainbow jersey. Will this hurt our television coverage? Do we care?

Quilters, we want everyone to finish.

We’ll lend fabric and threads to get you through the rough spots.

And we will do it all without any performance enhancing drugs!  (Chocolate and coffee are legal, yes?)

We are the participants of the Tour de Quilting and making the Quilting world proud, one finish at a time.

A race like this? It would make me sew happy!

Lots of things make me happy. Check out my Facebook page. Like the page and join the conversation! If you want to keep reading my blog, you can subscribe. To do so, type your email address in the box and click the “create subscription” button. That’s all, you’re done. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.

Am I a great cyclist myself? Mais non. Check out this post about how bikes hate me.

Filed under: humor

Tags: tour de france, tour de quilting

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