Quilt Style Humblebrags

Ever read any humble brags on Facebook or Twitter? I have and they make me laugh every time. Here’s a link to some pretty funny humble brags on Twitter.

Here’s the definition from Urban Dictionary

Subtly letting others now about how fantastic your life is while undercutting it with a bit of self-effacing humor or “woe is me” gloss.
Uggggh just ate about fifteen piece of chocolate gotta learn to control myself when flying first class or they’ll cancel my modelling contract LOL :p #humblebrag

I read a pretty classic humble brag on Facebook the other day and thought, these would be hilarious to do for quilting. I am NOT saying any quilters I know do these.

Most quilters I know are straight forward when they are excited and I love that.

But let’s pretend they all aren’t.

I present you with Quilt style Humblebragsword

1. No time to hand sew Jr’s clothes for Harvard as I normally do. Darn it, I’m too busy with my commission piece for the White House.

2. Mensa will just have to wait for the quilt they want. I understand that only superior level members can create them but my investors are screaming for me to Okay the plans for the new store. Why did I agree to let them fund a quilt store with my name on it. Am I crazy? (I know, I know you’re going to respond No, just the inventor of the new Crazy Quilt trend. Stop!)

3. I’m shocked also that I won Best of Show at Paducah. You tell me how I could possibly do that for the second year in a row. Are those judges crazy?

4. What makes me so mad is not knowing if my workshops sell out first because people really love my teaching style or just want to be around a famous quilter. Don’t you hate that?

5. So embarrassed when I keep hearing that I look way too young to already be in the Quilter’s Hall of Fame.

6. Anyone else losing track of how many quilts they’ve made? It’s tough when they are either already purchased or on display at the National Quilt Museum.

7. Too much pressure! All these brands want to sponsor my blog. I’m stressed about this and then there are the fabric lines I need to produce. I need a vacation and the classes I’m teaching in Hawaii do.not.count.

8. Free thread, free fabric, free supplies – I am drowning over here. Please someone come help me organize so I can keep making quilts for the magazine covers.fly

9. If one more person tells me I make heirloom quality quilts I will just die. I am just trying to keep my loved ones warm when we’re in Sweden for the awards presentation. Give a girl a break.

10. NO I am not TOO pretty to be a nationally recognized quilter. Ugh, some people are so ignorant. OK, now I have to go spend my prize money.

I giggled like a crazy fool writing these.

Pretending to humblebrag makes me sew darn happy!

Want to see what I actually brag about? Not that much but when I do, I jump up and down with excitement.  Check out my Facebook page. Like the page and join the conversation! If you want to keep reading my blog, you can subscribe. To do so, type your email address in the box and click the “create subscription” button. That’s all, you’re done. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.

If you snorted a bit reading these, you might enjoy this one also.

Filed under: humor

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    Kathy Mathews

    My passions are quilting and sewing. Add to that French, Spanish, books, swimming, travels, new restaurants, yoga and chocolate and you have me. All of these are best shared with family and friends. Except for chocolate, don't touch my chocolate. You can email me at QuiltingSewingCreating@gmail.com

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