Category: city life

The Mayor of Hammond cycles down the schlong way

  “Hammond Mayor Thomas M. McDermott Jr. reported finding at least 20 simple drawings of male genitalia along the Wolf Lake Bike Pth as he rode home on Tuesday. ‘I’m a big cyclist and as I was coming back through Wolf Lake I blew a tire,’ Mcdermott said. ‘I get off my bike and look... Read more »

Why lawyers have bad street cred

  [The following verse owes its conception to “Hate Lawyers??? Don’t worry it’s getting harder to be one” which appeared today in Michael Helfand’s “Chicago’s Real Law Blog”]   It’s in Shakespeare: “Kill all lawyers” Like those infesting Courthouse foyers. Our hate for them may be prodigious Due to the fact they are litigious. Ambulance... Read more »

Canine Epistemology (Thanks, Steve Dale for the idea)

  How much do our dogs know? The calm ones and the violent. They probably know too much. That’s why I’d keep them silent.

The Cubs? "Something will happen. Something always happens."

  “So much longing, so much yearning, so much suffering. Cubs fans know what these fresh Cubs players do not. Something will happen. Something always happens. Every Cubs season ends so quietly you can hear a tear drop.” [Bernie Lincicome in today’s Chicago Tribune sports section]   The Cubs are expected to play sudden death;... Read more »

In defense of bicycle riders: Peter Bella notwithstanding

I wrote the following after reading ChicagoNow blogger Peter Bella’s “A Modest Proposal for Bicyclists”.   There’s a blogger who says that among his dislikes Is the reckless unlawful way people ride bikes. I think he should chill ‘Cause I don’t think they kill As often as people who drive down turnpikes.

Thoughts on building a neighborhood

  “We live in a world where everything is branded.” Sean Conlon, real estate developer, quoted in “Developers hoping ‘NoCa,’ ‘River South’ catch on: Companies planning residential projects on Near West, Near South sides launch efforts to brand areas, add new neighborhoods to city’s lexicon” from the Tribune’s Business section on May 13. “What unites... Read more »

When Other Streets Were Left Unplowed, Alderman Burke's Got the Royal Treatment

  When the snows were their deepest As experienced  now And the streets were impassable Without a plow. There was in the news At least one thoroughfare That was plowed and plowed over To keep it quite bare. And many did wonder Why their streets were ignored While Ed Burke’s was plowed Five  times  in... Read more »

Driving Mr. Emanuel----Through Red Lights

  I’m no fan of  red-light cameras.  Not because they’d catch me in a violation.  No, it has more to do with disliking being spied on .  You know, the  big-brother  syndrome. So I live with them.  Begrudgingly. Which brings me to a notorious scofflaw in this context.  Mayor Emanuel. It seems his official vehicle... Read more »

The Death of a Squirrel

  My mother in her old age  had a way with squirrels.  She loved to feed them,  scattering generous  pieces of bread  around the tree outside her kitchen window.  If memory serves me right—and it is some  years ago—I think a few of them even came up to her as she  offered them those  irresistible... Read more »

How to Edit an Expletive Without Deleting It: a la Julie-Hammervision

  In her post on November 2 “The worst people ever to set foot inside Costco today'” ChicagoNow blogger Julie-Hammervision has this to say, “Costco was nucking futs today.” I won’t say that Julie  lacks  guts For pulling her punches with “nucking futs.” I’ll only observe  that  spoonerisms Are not effective  euphemisms.