A Side of Asparagus You Wouldn't Expect: A Poem for Mature Audiences

Long ago a man erotically bent

While cuddling in the sack

Might realize with best intent

Performance did he lack.

He may have wondered if heaven sent

And prayed to get on track;

Or not devout, he simply went

To see the local quack,

Or apothecary. To augment

Enough to make a comeback,

He bought—perhaps with her consent—

An aphrodisiac.

Ginkgo and ginseng to ferment

And stiffen what was slack.

Asparagus, too, to fix the gent

With berries, red or black.

Gustaf's Red and Black Berries 4/4.4lb

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  • I'm speechless! Any comment I might make would probably carry me over a line you carefully avoided crossing.

  • Have you seen the bent carrot ad?

  • In reply to Weather Girl:

    I hadn't until you mentioned it, but it reminded me of videos on how to use a condom without the real equipment. And, of course, of when the Affy Tapple company made the Frosty Banana, which it no longer does.

  • In reply to jack:

    Of course the most famous phallic symbol in America is the Washington Monument.

  • In reply to Aquinas wired:

    Actually, I think the most famous phallic symbol in American is the firearm. After all, look at how many men want to prove that they are "real men" by swaggering around with one.

  • In reply to jnorto:

    Yes, sad but true. And so unfortunate for the rest of us.

  • I will be more careful in future days about mentioning that I don't like asparagus.

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