Archive for January 2013

50 Shades of Purple

Sex and Relationships Note:  A survey of over 2000 people found that the color  purple makes men irresistible to the ladies. If a man wants to be A magnet for chicks, It depends candidly On the color he picks. For the truth is a cough, Or a belch, or a slurp’ll Not turn the girl... Read more »

Real Men Don't Watch Super Bowl Commercials

I would rather risk death in Black Holes. Or tread on the hottest Hell coals Than see if an ad Is the best or quite bad. For that’s not why I watch Super Bowls.

Suffering Jete Lag in Moscow or Hell Has No Fury Like a Ballerina Scorned

From The Manchester Guardian: The artistic director of Russia’s Bolshoi Ballet says the attacker who splashed acid in his face was probably driven by ambition or resentment but that he has forgiven him or her. In Eastern Europe long ago Men  played Russian roulette. But now  more dangerous is she Who does a pirouette.  ... Read more »

The Joint Chiefs of Distaff

Media Note:  On his radio show, Rush Limbaugh— who never served in the military   because of a cyst on his buttocks– ridiculed the idea of women on the front lines. Soon women will fight on the front And engage deadly fire like a grunt. Call it courage, no less, Not like, Rush, PMS, Just... Read more »

Memories of an Altar Boy: Of Latin, Incense, Heavy Lifting, Clerical Visits, and Flatulence

A fellow ChicagoNow blogger wrote a few days ago about an altar server with an unusual perspective. It got me waxing nostalgic a bit .  Memories of  being once an altarboy myself flooded my mind.  It was  during  the front side of the 1950s, to be precise.  Before Vatican II. When  the priest-celebrant had not... Read more »

Gingrich Tells GOP to Lighten Up

Newt Gingrich has offered a hand To tweak the Republican brand. It’s so simple and snappy: “Spread sunshine, be happy. It’s our grumpiness voters can’t stand.”

Inaugural Lines for the Ages

President Obama’s Second Inaugural has been delivered. It is the 57th in the annals of Inaugurals, beginning with George Washington’s in 1789 in New York City. One observer thought our first president was “more agitated and embarrassed than ever he was by the levelled cannon or pointed musket.” President Obama, by contrast, was his usual... Read more »

Classical Music May Be a Safety Hazard

Note: Researchers at the London Metropolitan University tell us there is evidence that classical music can induce  both men and women to  drive erratically. There’s a study that says if you play Something classical your car just may Find itself in a ditch Due to Shostakovich With a fortissimo and forte.

President Obama, There's a Lot More on Your Plate Than Lobster Tails and Bison

Obama starts his second four With pomp and circumstance. I hope this time he’ll do much more Than just a song and dance.   .

First Place for Originality

(Inspired by a ChicagoNow post by Jack Spatafora) It’s good to be an original In  art or discipline. A Rembrandt’s not a Rembrandt If it isn’t genuine. Like the labeled racks at Nordstrom’s Like the frocks the stars dress in, It’s good to be an original In everything but sin.