Grumpy Bloggers Will Live Forever!

-By Warner Todd Huston

And now a word from one of our “scientists” at the University of California…

You happy goofballs die young. That’s right, you heard me. A new study has determined that I will live forever because I am a grump and you smiling fools will die young. Take THAT! And get off my lawn while you are at it.

Much as I hate these pseudo scientific, time-wasting “studies” — all of them being a waste of my tax money at so-called universities that neither deserve the title nor the power — but this one suits my disposition, so I’m going to say that it must be true!

UPI is reporting that a study conducted under the auspices of some pointy-headed, tweed jacket-wearing, communist at the University of California, Riverside has shown that people with a cheery disposition die younger than us realistic, more sensible folks….

Read the rest at

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Tags: Education, Humor

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