Category: pregnancy after adoption

The Grief in Knowing I Will Never Be Called Mom.

In honor of November being National Adoption Awareness Month, Portrait of an Adoption is running a special series called 30 Adoption Portraits in 30 Days.  Designed to give a voice to the many different perspectives of adoption, this series will feature guest posts by people with widely varying experiences. By an Anonymous Birthmother From the... Read more »

Daddy, What Are Those Lions Doing???

Daddy, What Are Those Lions Doing???
I knew we were getting closer to having the big talk.  After all, Katie is eight years old, and who only knows what she hears on the playground at school. “If at any time, Katie shows an interest in talking about sex, we have to have The Talk with her,” I told my husband, “or... Read more »

Top Ten Things NOT to Say to an Adoptive Parent

Top Ten Things NOT to Say to an Adoptive Parent
Many people are kindhearted yet uneducated about the semantics of adoption.   Other people have good intentions but take a thoughtless approach to satisfying their curiosity. And then there are some people who are simply insensitive. Here’s a little advice about what NOT to say to an adoptive parent (sense of humor recommended!): 1. What happened... Read more »

Did I ruin my life by having/ adopting these kids?

Tonight I went to visit a friend, N, who has eight-week-old twins.  She also has a one-year-old.   Three healthy babies, a blessing that millions of people wish for. And along with those three beautiful babies, she and her husband have a house full of chaos, no sleep, mounting financial concerns and no ability to get... Read more »

What a Difference a Year Makes

Friday was Katie’s last full day of first grade.  It was also Cleo’s first birthday.  Andrew, Annie Rose, Cleo and I joined all the other first grade families at noon to participate in the first grade barbecue.  I sat on the ground with my hot dog and chips and reflected on the difference a year... Read more »

Mother's Day, On Loss and Joy

This morning while I was running, my thoughts drifted back to Mother’s Day 2003.  I rarely think about that time, and if I do, it is only on the periphery of my mind.  I touch on it with words like grief and loss, but I dance cautiously around the concrete memories.  Tears soon mingled with... Read more »

But I'm Your Mommy

Katie’s birth mother, M, and her two siblings are coming to visit us for the first time this summer.  They have never traveled out of their home state before.  They have never been on an airplane or taken a long train ride, and they certainly never have seen the likes of downtown Chicago before. When... Read more »

It's Not About A Boy

We did not find out ahead of time the gender of our new baby.  It was fun to speculate with Katie and Annie Rose about whether they would end up with a little sister or a little brother. Annie Rose expressed a preference for a brother.  Halfway through my pregnancy, she declared, “If the baby... Read more »

And Cleo Makes A Trio

It was the last day of school. Katie was finishing Kindergarden.  Although the day dawned bright and sunny, much like every other June day in 2010, there was a feeling of pomp and circumstance in the air.  The parents gathered; the school day would only last an hour. Some of us brought muffins and juice;... Read more »

Whose Child Is She? Not A Black And White Answer

The other night I was talking on the phone with my daughter’s birthmother, M. We were discussing her plans to come visit us in Chicago for the first time this summer. A trip to Chicago would be no small feat for M and her kids. They have never been on an airplane, never seen a... Read more »