I just don't wanna

I just don't wanna

Do you have those days when you just don’t want to do things?  I have them often.  Sometimes I will sit drinking my coffee, and think, OK just one more cup.  Rather than go to the computer and see what is going on in the World and deciding what to write, I will wait for the water to boil.  There are five minutes wasted, could I have turned on the computer and at least looked at my email? Yes, I could have but that would be too much like working.  I think I need a little more mental health time.

So the water finally boils and I pour it over the grounds on the French Press.  Is it time now to go look at that email?  No, I have to wait five minutes to push the plunger down on the coffee.  I look out the window and notice it is starting to look like springtime.  Maybe I should look in the back yard to see if the crocuses have bloomed?  No, that means I’d have to get out of my robe and get dressed.  That means I’d then be ready to work and I just need a little more time to collect my thoughts.

That coffee is ready, and I push down the handle on the French Press.  I can smell the rich aroma of the fresh ground coffee as it goes into the cup.  Should I take the cup of coffee with me, and go over to the computer and check the email?

No, that is too risky.  I think about all the times I’ve ruined a laptop or a keyboard by spilling coffee.  I should sit in this comfortable chair and look out at the beautiful morning before I turn the computer on.  After all, once it goes on it is pure chaos until bed.  Oh look, is that Wren on my window sill?  Goodness, maybe we are close to Spring I should check the bird feeders.  There isn’t a lot of food for them yet.  Soon I can put them away for the season but not quite yet.

I think about how good the coffee tastes and I really should turn on the computer and get to work.  But first, maybe I should shower and shave.  Yes, I’ll do that.  I’ll shower and shave rather than face what the world is sending me in the email.  So I trudge off to the bathroom and turn on the shower.

Once you hit about 45 years old, the bathroom mirrors cease being your friends.  My God, how did Dad creep into my mirror?  I remember when my hair was dark and curly.  Now my hair is just like his.  I take the shower and shave and look in the mirror again.  I get dressed, and of course, it takes me quite a while to pick out what I am going to wear sitting in front of a computer.  You never know, I might accidently hit that camera icon and I wouldn’t want to look bad if someone stumbled across my image.

It is about time to turn on the computer, I really need to get to the day.  Gosh, it’s 9:00 in the morning, where is the day going?  Oh, wait, the bird feeders.  I need to check on them.  The birds depend on these feeders in the hard Illinois winter.

So I trudge out and check the seed levels in the five feeders.  I have different seeds for different birds.  Do I bring it with me?  Of course, I don’t, that would be a time saver.  In the morning, I’m not interested in saving time.  So I go to the garage and bring seed out and fill the feeders.  The birds seem to be happy.  I might as well check for those crocuses and see if they are poking up.  Yes, they are coming up nicely.  Spring is definitely on its way.

Now it’s time to face the email.  A little ceremonial hand washing and I finally sit down at the desk.  I look at the computer with its dark screen and wonder what secrets are inside waiting for me?  I finally turn it on.

It seems to take forever for the screen to light up.  I sign in and wait some more, and more, and more.  It is as though the computer is as slow to boot up as I am in the morning.

It finally comes on and….no, wait, I think I need some more coffee.  So it is back to the kitchen and boil the water.  I let it steep, drink the coffee, watch the birds eat, and now walk in to face the email.

Gmail comes up, and the first thing I see is my daily schedule.  I open it up.  Ooops, there’s a call I was supposed to make an hour ago.  I guess I better make that, but not right now.  Look, there’s a note from Jimmy with yesterday’s blog report.  Did I make the top 25?  I don’t want to let anyone know I’m secretly competitive and just love falling on lists of good things happening.

Finally after two hours, and all the ritual, it’s time to write.  While I procrastinate, I’m also thinking.  I’m thinking about what I want to write and organizing it in my head.  When I have my vision for the day’s main article, then I can sit down and write.  Is it procrastinating?  Definitely, but procrastinating with a purpose.

It’s now time to write, but first, another cup of coffee is in order.


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