Hello, my babies! I’ve been in quite the foul mood lately. At first I thought it might be due to advancing age, too-tight Skims or having been unemployed for 10 months now and counting. (Were I not an old bag, I could have incubated and popped out a puppy in less time. But I digress.)
The causes of my ennui are myriad. I would like the following to stop, please:
Donald Trump. He’s a big, loud, psychotic dirigible of a man, who should travel to Lakehurst, NJ and explode as soon as possible.
Beyoncé. She is beautiful, talented, humble and a billionaire. She’s damned-near perfect! Just once I’d like to see her, wig-less in a housecoat, smoking a Kool, scratching her ass and yelling at Jay-Z about not refilling the tank on the Lambo. (Oddly, I do enjoy Hova [Jay]. He’s an interesting guy. A thoughtful learning-sponge. The man pays attention. Age has brought him not only mega-moola, but keen wisdom. He’s worth every shekel he’s got. Plus, his Basquiat-inspired hairdo is just so damned coo!)
The Ongoing COVID Vaccine Controversy. Get it, don’t get it, get the booster, vaccinate your dogs, cats, chickens and grandmas. Or don’t get vaxxed and go lick a lamppost, I don’t care. We’ve been in this COVID mess for almost two years now. A word to the wise should be sufficient. If you are so misguided as to not do your homework and follow the science, then Mazeltov. Just remember, COVID continues to kill on a daily basis – 700,000 Americans and counting. Do the right thing, for shit’s sake, so we can finally move on to the new abnormal.
People dissing William Shatner for going into space. A pox upon you! Any astronaut before him would have noted the bravery and cool in what ol’ Bill did in Jeff Bezos’ (inexplicably penis-shaped) rocket last week. So he went where a lot of men have gone before, so what? Shatner is 90-plus, for Spock’s sake! He is thoughtful and self-effacing. A national treasure. Not to mention, possessed of a set of brass cojones! Godspeed, Capt. Kirk, in all future endeavors.
Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg. Eeew. Just eeew. Anyone who thinks he’s ever going to be part of the social media solution and not Godfather of the problem isn’t paying attention. News reports state that MZ soon is changing Facebook’s name. Might I suggest, WTB – Waste of TimeBook?
Online click–bait, especially the dreaded phrase, “Begin Slideshow.” How many times have I clicked on an interesting article, like “30 Things Shoplifted by Oprah ( #7 Will Shock You!)”, only to be thwarted by 30 infernal screens so full of click-bait that want to I bash my iPad with a ball peen hammer? May God curse the makers of such content with jock itch and annual tax audits.
Cardi B. Short for her full name, Cardi B. Annoying. Take the word “pussy” out of popular parlance and she has, maybe, two songs left in her repertoire. This gal named her firstborn Kulture. Klassy, okuuurrrr?
Those who pooh–pooh the January 6th Capitol insurrection.
The frightening reality of What Trump Wrought that day must be seen for what it was. The madman tried to foment a coup! I’m no fan of Congress, but I am an ardent fan of democracy. Demagoguery, not so much. Any and all who laid siege to the Capitol that dark day must be brought to justice and prosecuted fully. It scares the hell out of me what some rabid lackwits were willing to do in the name of a crybaby lunatic. No elected official – not even Pence or Pelosi – should have to flee for their lives from the halls of Congress. That is not who we are!
Sure, there are assholes in Government, which is our fault, because we have become a lazy, uninformed electorate. But even the worst congressman or senator doesn’t deserve death! That should be reserved for treasonists – such as our feckless former president.
Now Hiring and Urgently Hiring signs everywhere you look. I realize that this is a serious issue. It is shocking the number of un-fillable jobs that abound. Like it or not, the pandemic has altered employment as we knew it. ‘Twas a catalyst that radically changed the mindset of employees, which by necessity is changing employers’ M-Os. The days of non-liveable salaries and holding employees cheap may be coming to an end. (Too bad it took a pandemic to do it.) Revolutions are tough, but their outcomes usually worth the struggle. So, Viva la revolucion!
A final note: I’m really tired of categorizations. I do not care if you are straight, gay, lesbian, bi, trans or non-participational. I don’t care if you are black, white, brown, yellow, red or ecru. In no way do I care with whom you sleep or how you identify. You are welcome to use the stall next to me, so long as you flush and wash your hands. Jewish, Muslim, Christian, Hindu, Zoroastrian – bring it on. Male, female, old, young or in-between, I’ve got no beef with you.
But if you are willfully ignorant, misogynistic, mistreat women or old people or kids or animals, have a constant shitty disposition, drive like a moron, enjoy mind games, have no compassion or empathy, have no sense of humor or, God forbid, wear a MAGA hat… please stay the hell away from me!
Comments, declarations of love or advice to: planetMichelle4u@gmail.com
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