Music has always been an outlet for me emotionally, not because I make or play music, but because I feel like some music speaks to me in any given mood.
When I was a teenager and discovered “Emo Music” was “a thing” I about lost my mind.
“Finally!!” I thought, “Music that ‘gets’ me! It’s made for me!”
I connected to music more in my teen years than I had ever experienced before and that lead to my passion for music today. After all, I’m now married to a musician.
Being pregnant to me feels similar to being a teenager. I’m emotional and struggling every now and then to remember who I am.
The lyrics from one of my favorite songs rings through my mind more often than I even care to admit when I discuss my future parenting plans, pregnancy diet, or birth plan with anyone other than my husband.
“What do I stand for? Most nights, I don’t know anymore.” – Fun
I have been so blessed in this pregnancy so far, and pray the blessings continue. I’ve felt physically wonderful for nearly the entirety of the pregnancy, but as the saying goes, “It’s always something.”
While physically I’ve felt great, the something that won’t leave me alone is the constant ridicule I receive from seemingly innocent bystanders.
Who knew so many other people could be experts on my body and the child growing inside of me?
I read all I could about pregnancy bullying, but I always assumed I would be stronger than the harsh words of others. I’ve experienced more than my fair share of rude individuals in my life, but nothing could have prepared me for the constant nagging I hear from others now that I’m pregnant.
I’ve never doubted myself and my choice of words more than I have these last few months.
“Is that safe for you to eat? Does that have caffeine? What do you mean you’re going to deliver naturally? You’re a fool. You know, it’s important to keep an open mind. Never let your child cry. Always let your child cry. You say that now, just wait until you have the baby.”
While I understand everyone has and is entitled to their own opinion, a close friend told me the only way to avoid hearing opinions from others is to avoid talking about my pregnancy or children at all.
True as it may be, I think it’s bullshit.
My body is going through the miracle of creating and growing new life right now. My emotions are raging and at any moment I hear a certain song on the radio I burst into laughter or burst into tears.
I am more fragile now than ever and yet the most excited I’ve ever been in my life and the answer to avoid ridicule is to simply keep my mouth shut?
I feel like I’m fifteen again and all I want to do is scream at the math teacher for not letting me use the bathroom when I need to change my maxi pad. Just let me do what I want and leave me alone!
At no point in my life did I consider myself an irresponsible or closed-minded individual and yet now that my midsection has expanded people suddenly feel it’s appropriate to correct me at their leisure.
To all the expectant mothers or future moms I will tell you this: Don’t hide. Don’t avoid talking about your growing bump, your birth plan or your plans for parenting.
Flaunt your bump and talk about the miracle of what you’re experiencing. Tell yourself this one important thing about your growing family: It’s my baby. I will always do right by him or her. Everything that entails is entirely the decision of my partner and I.
I do my best keep my mouth shut when I can feel my emotions starting to boil over, but I am not going to be shy about sharing my plans or my dietary decisions any longer. People will always have opinions and they’ll never go away. It’s my job to just sing my favorite song again and again. My pregnancy anthem.
“Some nights I wish that my lips could build a castle. Some nights I wish they’d just fall off.” – Fun
Find your outlet and laugh, cry, or sing along, just don’t ever let the bullies get you down. Along the way, someone will say, “Good for you, you’re doing everything you can for your body and your baby.” Smile and be assured that you are not alone. I’ve been there.
Jess Bedsole is a Graphic Designer, turned Web Designer turned Social Media Producer who has a burning passion for blogging (& over-sharing). She has a constant “Go get ‘em” attitude & is a firm believer that all things happen for a reason. Her goal is to inspire others to make better decisions or share their latest epiphanies. A dedicated do-it-yourselfer, Jess can be found blogging about newlywed life, home ownership, crafty projects & emotional meltdowns at Sparkles & Crafts and as a monthly guest author at Parenting Without A Parachute.