Saying Goodbye to Fattening Food, Jiggly Arms, and Muffin Tops

Saying Goodbye to Fattening Food, Jiggly Arms, and Muffin Tops
Goodbye, sweet fattening goodness...

An excerpt from the journal of Elizabeth Rago…

Friday, May 25th, 2012

8:22 PM

I felt my upper arm flab wagging in the windy Chicago breeze today as I waved at my 5-year-old son. Instantly clutching my jiggling skin, I shamefully tucked my untoned tricep under my armpit and exchanged my exuberant gesture for a more graceful finger flutter.

Earlier in the week, my daughter drove a car over my muffin top as I fed 4-month-old Gertrude and innocently asked if we were having another baby. I quickly (and defensively) explained to 3-year-old Anne that it had only been 4 months since I gave birth.

Anne stared at me and asked for a cookie, to which I granted her request and then, lickety-split, ate 10 cookies myself to get back at her.

Baby weight.

I was obsessed about losing every ounce of weight I put on during my first two pregnancies and rallied to recondition my way into the best shape possible.

I lost all of the weight I gained (145 pounds total) and then some!

But this time around, even though I gained a mere 50 pounds, I have yet to start working out.

My excuses:

  • I’m sleep deprived.
  • I’m busy with 3 kids.
  • I might not fit into all my skinny clothes, but I think I look pretty good considering I gave birth a few months ago…

I know it is silly to put pressure on myself to lose weight quickly and feel like I went into survival mode after baby Gertrude was born, ignoring all suggestions to take care of myself. After all, I have three kids to care for!

The spinal headache after Gertrude’s delivery threw me for a loop and unlike my other two children who slept through the night at 6 weeks, my third glorious babe is up and ready to party several times a night.

So, working out is pretty far down on my priority list.

As I roll my once perky breasts up off the floor and stuff them into my underwire bra, I cannot help but sigh and wrinkle my nose at the fact that my stretch marked saturated stomach will never again see the light of day.

I need to suck it up and get motivated to shed this lingering maternity weight one last time.

I need the squats, the weights, and Billy Blanks’ Boot Camp to transform my tummy, toosh and thighs into a healthy me again.

“Goodbye”, Nutella generously spread on Trader Joe’s Toasted Coconut Cookie Thins and dipped in vanilla ice cream!

“Sayanora”, 1/2 slab of ribs from Portillo’s with french fries, cole slaw and a bread stick and a chocolate shake (and maybe a tamale?)!

“Au Revior”, Ghirardelli Chocolate Supreme Brownie dipped in chocolate syrup!

I bid you adieu, fat-infused goodness. From the bottom of my cellulite riddled haunches, I raise a glass of Malbec tonight, clutched in my sausage fingers (which still cannot wear my wedding band) and in a sweaty hormonal mess, I say, “Dasvedania”.

I know in 6 months I will be smiling at a new me.

The energized and healthy me I knew just a year ago…

Sweet Moses, I’m hungry.


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  • Liz! Eating right is the way to start! It's so hard to find time to work out! Eating well is something you can do everyday. I know you can do it. Although, Portillos is always hard to give up!

  • In reply to Shari:

    I know, I need to start with make better choices... And I need to find any excuse to take a walk. We usually take one walk a day, but with 3 small kids we are always stopping to explore or taking 30 minutes to watch an ant. :) Thanks for reading!

  • Your post just made me hungry. My baby is 8 years old, and I still struggle with motivation. Why, oh, why can't carrot sticks taste more like brownies??
    Good luck! I can't wait for the update in a couple of months.

  • Amen, Crystal! I am working on taking slow steps and not adding things to my to-do list, rather, making it a positive habit to start eating well and getting more exercise. I will keep you updated! :)

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