How I Learned to Say No; Being Realistic About My Time

After another crazy summer, trying to accommodate an overfull plate, I realized things have to change. I can’t be everything to everyone anymore. I am entering a new territory in life- saying no! I am letting go of being the “Go to Gal” and focusing more on what I want to do and it feels great.

I was out with a friend Friday night and she told me that she was scaling down the time she spend chatting on the phone with friends to focus on her job search. She realized that with a full time job, she needed all her extra time to transition into a new phase of life. You go girl.

Time- we all need or want more of it. And even being an super organized person doesn’t mean you are getting everything done. Yes, I finished my condo tax appeal on the last day!

I have been thinking a lot about this lately. Is part of this my fault? Probably. People see me as a well connected and active person. Always on the go and getting stuff done. They don’t hesitate to ask me for things. They don’t see behind the scenes that I too am running in the 9th hour to make sure things get done. How I run errands before, in between, and after work. I use my car as a mobile office. I live and die by my “to do” list.

A friend recently called me and wanted me to help her with her skin care business. Like I have time to throw parties right now. I politely declined. Then came the guilt email. Instead of thrashing out, I followed my other friends path, I told her that I needed all my time to focus and run my business. Then came another email. I didn’t even respond. That would have been a waste of time.

And yes the next day another request came down the pipeline. A friend asked me to meet with her friend who might want to be an organizer. I again declined.Yup, another guilt email. I again replied- “Please respect the fact that I am super busy right now and need to focus.

Please understand, I am not going from the “Go To Gal” to the “No” gal. I am just being more realistic with my time. I want to create more zen and less chaos. In the last week, I did offer to help a friend with some repairs on her condo and watch another friends cat. I am still going to be a good person, but a realistic person.

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