I can’t tell you how many times I get a call from stressed spouse or partner. It always starts off with the good qualities and then moves in for the kill. I am so happy but…the clutter, disorganization, old things…ect.
So what do you when your loved one has clutter that is taking over your lovely home? First of all…dont them them that they need to organize. Thats right! You heard me. A game plan needs to be formulated. This may or may not include working with a professional.
To get your game “plan” in gear, do an accessment on your home. Evaluate what is working and what isn’t. Make a list room by room. Then break it down into small projects. Plan to tackle a few of them per week(as time allows in your life).
DO NOT SHARE THIS PLAN WITH YOUR PARTNER. THEY DO NOT NEED TO KNOW UPFRONT WHAT YOU EXPECT TO BE DONE! THIS WILL CAUSE THEM MORE STRESS AND BACKFIRE ON YOU!
In embarking on this feat, you will learn…a little manipulation goes a long way. Each week, pick a small project and ask them to help. Do as much prep work as you can. It may require you to purchase containers for storage or help in setting up a filing system. Alot of people know that they need to get organized, but choose not to get started because they dont know where to begin.
Instead of saying “Today we are going to spend the day organizing'”, try a statement such as “I need you to help me sort these piles of paper”.
I worked with one client in which we put all her husbands paper in bags. She set a goal of two bags a night. He was able to do this task in front of the tv with a beer. A few months later, they had a nice filing system and years of paper were gone. Why? He was in his comfort zone! He didnt feel rushed or stressed.
When trying to get your partner to clear their clutter, its very important to use postive language. Calling someone a slob isn’t going to help your case. You also should give them positive feedback on the changes that are made. Every little thing they are willing to sell, donate, or trash is a battle won.
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