I’m no spring chicken. And I’ve had a pretty nice life up until now. No big complaints. Lots of happy, loving, fun moments with wonderful friends and family, loads of laughs, great meals and some nice successes, including being nominated recently for a Peter Lisagor award for my blog. It felt good to be recognized (like an Oscar nomination) even if I didn’t win.
But in the total scheme of things, it didn’t pack as much of a wallop as it would have had at one time. That’s because I was suffering from extreme anxiety.
At one time I dreamt of going to the Lisagor dinner and hobnobbing with those whom I admire in the field of journalism. But that dinner didn’t happen because of COVID 19.
COVID has given a lot of people anxiety. No fault of their own. So many aspects of it fill people with fear and uncertainty.
I had been someone who never understood why people took antidepressants and anti-anxiety medicines. But actually, antidepressants use soared 65% between 1999 and 2014. And I know a ton of people who take them regularly and do very well on them. What’s more, anti-anxiety meds have jumped 34% since the start of the pandemic. It’s not surprising. I understand now. I understand too well.
COVID has added much to be level of my own anxiety. Seeing all the workers in my local Ace Hardware with their masks below their noses today certainly didn’t help. How will we ever conquer this God-awful thing if people don’t follow the rules?
But, for me, COVID 19 is not the main cause of my anxiety although it certainly adds to it. See, things have changed in my life, and out of respect and love for another, I can not discuss it here. At least right now. Sorry about the tease.
For me, my symptoms include: insomnia, heart palpitations, worrying about things huge and teeny tiny, overwhelming sadness and all-encompassing fear like I’ve never felt in my life that blocks me from accomplishing things.
I hesitated to write this sort of confession, admitting my own failures. Facebook is a permanent record, after all. But I’m trying to get a hold on this thing through the right channels- therapy and medicine. Hopefully, I will even if I don’t see a path clearly right now. And if I can help one other person, then maybe it’s worth my exposure.
Be kind, folks. Today it’s me. Tomorrow it might be you. You never know what another person is going though.
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