Extra! Extra! Read about the great fish tank disaster of (early) 2017

Extra! Extra! Read about the great fish tank disaster of (early) 2017
'Kendall is a Jerk' - image by JA Gledhill

There was a fish tank disaster in my home last week. This is the first time I’ve been able to talk about it.

I had three fish tanks. (Not in a gross way. Not in a terrarium-with-a-snake-in-the-bathroom kind of way, no.) Long story short: 2 baggies of carnival goldfish winnings +  1 adult with addictive tendencies = 3 fish tanks.

But two weekends ago, we lost five fish in 24 hours. FIVE.

This many: X  X  X  X  X

It was horrifying: colorful fish dying one by one like in a cheesy ‘Murder She Wrote’ episode. It was such an epic aquarial** loss that I began to worry I was building up some bonafide murder karma. I mean, it’s one thing to flush one two goldfish down the toilet a week after a summer carnival, but to have five fish lives lost on your watch? in one weekend? That’s some shameful shit right there.

And oh how sad it made me.

I was surprised at how attached I had gotten to those fish. I’m sure I was projecting their “personalities” onto them, but life is life, right? They were five beautiful little sweethearts.

Thankfully all my favorite fish lived: my big fat goldfish in the 40 gallon tank I found in the alley, and the resilient AF glo-fish in the 10 gallon tank. (From what I’ve witnessed so far, glo-fish are the cockroaches of the freshwater fish world.)

What’s that? Oh God, no! Those fish perished days a couple of days after I changed the water. The cat in this picture nothing to do with it.

That jerk only pretends to be interested in the fish tanks when he’s trying to annoy me. It’s like a choreographed dance. 1) knock stuff off the counter 2. Scratch antique wooden icebox. 3. Pretend to almost jump into the 40 gallon fish tank. 4. Repeat. #KendallIsAJerk

Oh well. Have a great weekend, everyone: keep the faith!

**I thought I made up the word ‘aquarial,’ but it turns out I didn’t. I was kind of bummed I hadn’t, as it’s been a while since I made up a word ’round here. 


That’s my piece, and that’s my peace. Thanks so much for taking the time to read my silly words. It truly means the world to me. Carry on…


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