An open letter to Wayne LaPierre : Here's an absolute truth--you're an a**hole


On Tuesday, at the Weatherby International Hunting and Conservation Awards in Nevada (all my picks lost btw!), you gratuitously provided lucky guests with -surprise surprise-a scathing critique of President Obama’s inaugural address, taking particular issue with the President’s comments regarding “absolutism”-angrily asserting that “absolutes do exist, words do have meaning in language and in law!”.

As the title of this post indicates-I agree Wayne!

So let’s start this off with yet another absolute truth- albeit one which is childish and inconsequential-

Your name is awful, I mean not nearly as awful as the human being it is attached to, but pretty damn terrible nevertheless.

So, look asshole- I wanna clarify that I rarely use “vulgar” language in my posts-let alone in the title of my posts (it limits their marketability Wayne!). However you-your name, your personality, your appearance, your behavior, your organization, basically anything and everything associated  with you, compels me to use any and all irreverent language which is at my disposal.

I’ll admit however that I did have some reservations about using the word asshole—for I did not wish to offend any one who has ever been called, or is a self-identified asshole, for you without a doubt are a much, much, much worse human being than any of them. Much worse. Much.

Speaking of human beings, today, in the United States of America, 30 will be murdered thanks to gun. (Almost as many-39-that were killed by guns in Britain all of last year) Another 162 will be wounded. Oh, and 53 will kill themselves –albeit certainly comforted in their last moments on Earth, by their ability to practice their second amendment right.

Please, insufferable Asshole, take a moment to clean the blood from your hands.


Now, let’s get back to your enlightening observation that-get ready for free knowledge people- “words have meaning”.

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

Ok, so- Mr Facilitator of Mass Murder, Asshole, Sir-what exactly is-or was, the meaning of “Arms” in 1791? Was Thomas Jefferson familiar with the the Bushmaster AR-15-style semi-automatic rifle? Did Ben Franklin know the power of the Rap4 T68 Split-fire AK47 ?

2013 “Arm”

Speaking of 1791, I wonder how many mass murders took place at the hands of a mad man utilizing the preferred “arm” of the day-the single-shot, muzzle-loading flintlock rifle?

1791 “Arm”

Now to the word-“infringed”. You claim universal background checks infringe on our Second Amendment Right. Instead of playing semantics with you, or offering up an elaborate, philosophical rebuttal to your asinine position-I will simply say this-I don’t give a shit if that’s what you think, and while I humbly suspect the Founding Fathers would have disagreed with you as well, I don’t give a shit about their opinion either.


Entering this security code should not be the lone hurdle is acquiring a gun online. Gun Shows- the very existence of which speak volumes about our society-should not offer two potential sociopaths-vendor and purchaser -an opportunity to complete transactions devoid of common sense regulation and oversight. Call me a “right infringing” constitution burning, apple pie/freedom hating liberal, but I just think a high school applicant at Burger King, shouldn’t undergo a more comprehensive background check than the mentally ill convicted felon, looking to purchase an assault rifle to kill everyone at the Burger King.

Look, scum of the earth- I understand people enjoy hunting, I understand people have a right to protect themselves, I understand we have a substandard mental health system in this Country, I understand the role that is played by violence in entertainment and video games—but none of these truths, none, are incompatible or mutually exclusive with the common sense reforms the President has suggested.

I also understand “there’s other means to kill someone besides a gun”. There’s also fatal traffic accidents which don’t involve alcohol—but we don’t therefore allow intoxicated drivers on our roads.

As with traffic fatalities , the goal is simply to decrease the likelihood, to sensibly control the means by which such tragedies take place– to take the mass out of murder.

I’ll close by saying this, by conceding a point.

I acknowledge Wayne, that guns alone do not in fact kill people.

People kill people.

People kill kids.

And you, Mr. Despicable Asshole, Sir, help make it happen.

Be Good Friends,



Leave a comment
  • Knowing Wayne, he probably would reply that the anus is necessary to keep chemical equilibrium in the body. The problem you point out is that his body is quickly becoming only the rectum.

    I mentioned to someone who somehow believes that the 2nd Amendment protects him against tyranny that when the big earned King of England quarters troops in my condo in violation of the 3rd Amendment, I'll exercise my 2nd Amendment right to use a blunderbuss. It looks like you are going in a similar direction.

    And on your final point, there was a Mike Peters editorial cartoon you might like. Today's is also in point.

  • In reply to jack:

    eared, not earned.

  • fb_avatar

    Here's the conundrum for Wane La Pierre: what can he say about the rogue LA cop and the people he has murdered? Wane, was that a "good guy with a bad gun"? Was that a good guy turned bad who had a gun you wished you owned? How many bad guys did this good guy with a gun stop? Wane, stop perverting the debate with your "thoughts" on life, liberty and justice. Better yet leave the thinking part to people with far fewer screws loose than you. Here's to hope that you are on the wane, Wane. And yes, you define the word asshole... case closed. JH

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