An Open Letter to Theo Epstein

Dear Theo,

First of all, welcome to Chicago.  Our City is immaculate, and it has without a doubt the best baseball fans in the entire country.  You have accepted a challenge that few would have undertook, and regardless of the boatloads of money that you are receiving, I respect that you embrace the challenge that is in front of you.  Your press conference was outstanding, and the interviews that followed were on point and left me yearning for baseball to return to the North Side.  I say return, because the past 2 years have left cubs fans beaten, battered, and left for dead at the side of the road.  I represent a large faction of knowledgeable Chicago Cubs baseball fans who, to be honest, were left without hope a few months ago.  A lame duck team, with a lame duck manager, and an owner and President who looked to be driving the clown car.  Then the unthinkable happened: Tom Rickett’s up and let the Cubs grow up with one hire.  It didn’t even have to be you, it was more important that it was someone like you.  Young, ambitious, and willing to embrace the new age of baseball.  Don’t get me wrong, I am a huge fan of yours.  I believe your charisma and political cachet will be extremely useful in negotiating for state funds for the renovation of Wrigley Field.  I am confident that your baseball knowledge and hard work will build a sustainable winning franchise in the next few years.  However, I am more impressed that a team with all of the resources in the world, and a passionate, loving fan base finally grew up.  Baseball is a business, and it is more successful and fun when that business is about winning.  It has rarely been about winning in the franchises entire existence.  With one hire, the Cubs have brought me back from the brink.  Now, convince me that you are committed to making this franchise about winning:

  1. Retire the “Go Cubs Go” Song:  Seriously, quit playing it.  The song makes the franchise look like amateurs.  Let bars outside play it.  Hell, Cubbie Bear can blast it from their loud speakers.  Distance yourself from this song, and show me that you are committed to growing up.
  2. Add more night games:  By adding ten or so night games a year, you will make my commute home unbearable, however by adding a few more night games to the schedule you can begin to distance yourself from the thoughts and beliefs of players/fans/baseball people that day games are one of the reasons the Cubs are perennial losers.
  3. Don’t mention a “curse” or the damn billy goat:  Unlike Dusty, and Lou had previously, Theo skirted the issue.  He is well aware of the proposed curse that the media propagandizes, and that even owners mention from time to time (I’m looking at you, Tom Rickets).  Theo is also experienced in the same situation from Boston.  Quit with the curse talk, and keep Crane Kenney as far away from the stadium with his priests for god’s sake.
  4. Make amends with Steve Bartman:  Thankfully, a report surfaced today that Theo wants the Cubs to bring in Steve Bartman:

From afar, it seems like it would be an important step. Maybe a cathartic moment that would allow people to move forward together. I’m all about having an open mind, an open heart and forgiveness. Those are good characteristics for an organization to have as well. He’s a Cubs fan. That’s the most important thing.

Lastly, Theo, I want to thank you for taking on this challenge, and bringing my own hope back in the franchise that I love.  I’ll promise to do my best to temper my own expectations as you dig yourself out from the grave the previous ownership and regime left for you.

Best of luck,



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  • Could you please send Theo a P.S. and ask him to stop shaking hands with Ronnie Woo-Woo. As you say, the Cubs are a business and not a circus or a showcase for clowns. Thanks.

  • In reply to John Chatz:

    Totally agree. Ronnie Woo-Woo was an embarrassment when I used to spend my summers in the Wrigley Field bleachers back in the '70s, and it appalls me that he's there at every photo op. He does not embody the typical Cub fan.

  • You know, the thought of including Ronnie Woo-Woo in the "growing up" section crossed my mind. I am happy to report that I heard an interview with Theo in which he said he tried to run away when he saw Ronnie Woo-Woo walking up to him to shake his hand.

    Thanks for reading - appreciate your comment

  • The word you were looking for was 'cachet'.

  • ah yes..the distinction of authenticity - not the temporary internet storage.

    Thanks for the correction, and more importantly for reading.

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