An Open Letter to Rick Perry Which He Probably Can't Read: You're an Idiot

An Open Letter to Rick Perry Which He Probably Can't Read: You're an Idiot

You know what I think is a “good issue to keep alive”?  Your intelligence.

Specifically, your astonishing stupidity.

I mean, wow, are you dumb.

Sorry, I’m just “having fun”.

But a “C” in Gym? Or maybe of more concern, a “D” in Economics?

No wonder you don’t value education much. By the way, can you even spell the word “education”?

Speaking of basic skills, can you read? I think you may just be unable to read the President’s birth certificate. After all, the word “certificate” has four syllables, and that’s got to be two to three more than you’re used to (but then again: ex·e·cu·tion ).  Or maybe you just didn’t know Hawaii was a State? I know it’s not attached on the map…but see…ah no, I think you just can’t read, probably why you kept that racist rock around for so long.

All that said, I know your intellect, or lack thereof, is simply a distraction, and moreover, I take you at your word that you’re not a bumbling moron.

While we’re on the topic of bumbling morons, what the hell was with those painfully dreadful debate performances? What is so hard about …speaking? While I know that I likely disagree with what you‘re saying, I can’t be sure, because I simply have no idea what the hell it is you’re saying. But enough about your inability to communicate; it’s an overrated skill anyway (I’d bet if asked about it you’d say “Well…it’s [talking] easier said than done”).

Earlier today, you unveiled your “Cut, Balance and Grow” plan. Do you even know what GDP stands for? And are you aware of what a flat tax means for the Middle Class? No, of course you’re not, that would require “research”, (Like Googling “Lithuania”) and that’s a big elitist…scientific, Northern education type word.

Oh, and you want Americans to do their taxes on a postcard? Do I have to use commemorative Confederate Flag postage too?

Last question (I know how hard…thinking is for you), is being unbelievably stupid a capital offense in Texas?

Sorry, just “poking fun”.

Be Good Friends,


Leave a comment

  • Advertisement:
  • Advertisement:
  • ChicagoNow is full of win

    Welcome to ChicagoNow.

    Meet our bloggers,
    post comments, or
    pitch your blog idea.

  • Recent posts

  • Categories

  • Tags

  • @offhand_dribble

  • Subscribe to Offhanded Dribble

    Enter your email address:

    Delivered by FeedBurner

  • Latest on ChicagoNow

  • Advertisement: