My Morning of Socialism

I woke up today, which is always nice, and had a glass of water.

And remarkably, I didn’t get sick or die from that water.

Thanks EPA! Thanks Clean Water Act!

Then I called my Great Aunt-(who’s like my Grandmother), to see how she was doing. She’s 82 years old, lives alone, and “gets by” on her pension as well as Social Security checks . Thankfully she’s pretty healthy, but like many her age, takes a number of medications on a daily basis. Luckily, thanks to some Socialist program called Medicare (I think it came from Chairman Mao), she can afford these prescriptions.

I asked her how it felt to not only be part of a Ponzi Scheme, but to also be a Communist. She said huh? And then we said goodbye.

Then I checked the mail-which is a nice and convenient feature of life if I may say. Ouch student loan bills from the money hungry Government. Then I remembered, “Oh I have two degrees thanks to the help of the Government”.

I then apologized to my blown up picture of President Obama,  for having momentarily disparaged the Government.

I got dressed, (Hammer and Sickle Shirt) and left the house to meet my Dad for lunch. It took a while to get there because:

  • Stop lights-Apparently these prevent motorists from crashing into each other
  • There was street construction : Apparently roads need to be fixed from time to time. Lots of workers…lots of workers.
  • I had to pass a Social Engineering Center-aka Public School. Apparently you have to slow down around these places where kids learn stuff for free. (TAXES!)
  • Caught a bridge-Apparently this structure allows me to pass over water without needing to swim/get wet. Some cargo ship needed to pass, so I had to wait.

I know what you’re thinking-”This all brings back memories of Hitler’s Germany”. I thought the same at first. However as I waited at the bridge, I had a moment of lucidity, and thought/said out loud

“Oh we need the Government to do this type of stuff…because without things like stop lights, bridges, or functioning roads, we’d all be swimming and/or crashing into each other on the way to lunch.”

Unfortunately I had my window down, so the person in the car next to me understandably was bemused/frightened.

Lunch with the “old man” was nice. Thanks to the freedoms that the free market allows, I was able to order whatever I wanted…which I have to admit is a plus. Also, it goes without saying that any time spent with my dad is time well spent. See, my dad is nothing short of my best friend, and has and always will be my role model. He recently went through a serious health scare, and needless to say it was the hardest week or so of my life (not to mention his).

As a result, he obviously has had to take some time off of work, which is a foreign concept to him,  being that in twenty years I can think of maybe a handful of days he has voluntarily taken off.

Thanks to the Family and Medical Leave Act, he has been able to recover, to get well, to live. At lunch, (after the freedom hating waitress assured me my food was safe thanks to the FDA)  I asked my dad if he knew the origins of FMLA. I explained how in 1993 President Clinton grew a Hitler Mustache, and somehow got the Euro-Socialist Law passed. I then told him I left my wallet at home, he paid, and we were on our way.

As I walking back to my car I had a sudden “acute coughing attack“. I thought to myself “Oh my god-it’s the air…it’s all the emissions…I’m dying”. Then after about two seconds the cough stopped….guess the air wasn’t killing me.

There’s that damn EPA again!

I hate Socialism.

Be Good Friends,


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