A Short Letter to God about the Bulls

A Short Letter to God about the Bulls

Hey God-Steve here. It’s been a while since I’ve solicited your services; I generally try to respect your busy schedule and plate full of responsibilities. This however is an emergency. I understand the world is chock full of pressing issues and concerns-extremism of various sorts-(you’re probably quite familiar with the religious variety),  famine, violence, climate change, Sarah Palin and others who self-servingly reference you incorrectly, the Chicago Cubs BA with RISP,-but it is imperative that you take a moment to employ your omnipotence and impose your will on the NBA Eastern Conference Finals.

Let’s just start with Game 4. I’m not even asking that you make the Bulls win the series-just Game 4. I know this is kind of childish, but how about we make a deal? What can I do? Church? Being nice to Right Wing lunatics? Abstinence before marriage? No meat? (I think you like that one right?) Giving up sweets? I remember doing that for Lent as a kid…

I know you don’t like the Heat. You don’t like ego, you don’t like self-absorption, you don’t like vanity, you don’t like Juwan Howard, and you definitely don’t like the city of Miami. So basically what I’m saying is-you must find time during your Tuesday to put your money where your scripture is, and get involved in this game.

How about you just help Kyle Korver make a three pointer? That would help immensely. I mean this isn’t Lazarus type stuff here, just make a ball go in a basket. Remember what you and Christopher Lloyd did for Tony Danza in Angels in the Outfield? Please do that for Kyle.

God (AP File Photo)

It’s not that I think the Bulls can’t do it on their own, I know they can, but it couldn’t hurt to have a sixth man whose resume includes such highlights as “Created the World” and “Author of the Ten Commandments”.

I know we didn’t get Derrick Rose by accident, your fingerprints were all over those ping pong balls. Time to get involved again Big Guy.

Thank you….amen.

Be Good Friends,





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  • This letter is amazingly similar to one I wrote around January 21st of this year, I don't think he ever got it.

  • God's response to Steve:

    "Hey Steve, will do! Just stop writing this damn blog."

    (awwww, just f'n with you koolking, keep up the good work, and by good work I mean post more Lindsay Love Davis photos)

  • In reply to gwill:

    I didn't even post those photos-shit. I would stop the blog though-who needs it when one could just display their supreme wit and self acclaimed sense of humor through provocative commentary on others blogs-you know what i mean? Aw no seriously your comments really do generally make me laugh-and by make me laugh i mean make me laugh. Thanks William.

  • In reply to koolking83:

    I know EXACTLY what you mean. Although I may be joining you on the blog team here.

    Nice work. God heard you. The Heat's mascot is Burnie who is suppose to resemble a fire with a basketball nose. Both God and satan are very displeased with Burnie. This will work to our favor tonight.

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