Dear Feminists, Here's Why Feminism Is The F Word I Won't Use

*It’s Blog-a-palooza hour once again, and once again due to plans, my post is going up late. However, I am still giving myself the allotted time limit of 60 minutes and posting regardless of it being a day late. This month ChicagoNow partnered with our sister-blog in Orlando and chose the topic of “Writing A Letter To Someone Or Something You Have Had A Disagreement With”…I am fully prepared for the backlash…I mean “diverse and welcomed opinions.* (On that note, please remember that if your opinion differs from mine, you will do NO good by tearing me down to express yourself. Respect is key.)

Dear Feminists,

I despise that term. And I despise the term feminism. Now, before you go all “Oh helllllll no, you backwards bitch” on me, hear me out. I don’t disagree with your beliefs. I am all about equal rights, for everyone. Women absolutely should be paid an equal amount to her male counterpart for doing the same job. Raises, promotions, etc. should be given out based on merit, not genitalia.

That being said, I don’t like it. Why do we have to label it? Why do we have to have a specific word for the rights of women versus the rights of man versus the rights of a straight person versus the rights of a gay person versus the rights of a black person versus the rights of a white person. EQUAL. RIGHTS. FOR. ALL. No need for a fancy term to prove your cause. It doesn’t make us look better as a sex. It doesn’t make us look powerful.

Beyonce is at the forefront as a role model for feminism. To me, she doesn’t know a woman’s struggle. She has made millions upon millions. She isn’t exactly the go to for equal rights, because she has so very much. She isn’t in the trenches with women trying to move forward in the corporate world, she’s singing and yachting with Jay Z in the south of France. She isn’t supporting feminism as much as she’s supporting her career, and right now feminism is a hot topic.

(Side note: I love Beyonce, and I loved her VMA performance, she’s just a perfect example of what I’m trying to convey.)

So while she stood in front of a screen boasting the word “FEMINIST”,what did she prove? To me, nothing. She shook her ass, showed her legs, and hair flipped her way through songs full of sex. ¬†That, in my humble opinion, isn’t showing men that we can be in charge of our sexuality, that’s us showing men that at the end of the day, we absolutely are objects for their desire. She showed that her “feminism” comes from grinding on a chair, not from standing up and showing her strength. I’m all about women being sexually expressive if we want to, but it doesn’t make us look “as good” as a man. In fact, if a man was up there taking his clothes off and grinding, a lot of women would call it distasteful, but when a woman does it, it’s empowering.

To me, Beyonce showed more empowerment in her song Upgrade U, where she states: “You may be the block but I’m the lights that keeps the streets on…I can do for you what Martin did for the people, ran by the man but the women keep the tempo, it’s very seldom that you’re blessed to find your equal, to play my part and let you take the lead role.” She knows that she is important, and an equal, but that sometimes we have to allow the man to be the man, and vice versa.

As women, we hold so much power, just by BEING women. We are almost always the glue that holds a man together. So why fight so hard to make ourselves “better than men?” Why not work as hard as men, and be just as wonderfully feminine? Why do so many feminists/women make man the enemy?

In some senses, we, as women, are just taking this too far. Looking at the new single, “Girl In A Country Song”, two girls sing about how poorly we are portrayed by men in country music nowadays. GET OVER IT. Not everything is to “put women down”…and guess what?! In some ways, we DO ask for that attention. I know damn well if I wear a low cut shirt a man’s eyes are going to wander. Therefore, we like the attention, so when a man sings something about a girl dancing on a tailgate in a sundress, can’t we take it as a compliment to our beautiful, feminine qualities and attributes (which any girl has used to get what she wants) instead of assuming he just wants to screw her and toss her aside? In fact, in the music video for this song, they still have gorgeous women in tiny outfits, while making fun of men. What does that prove?

¬†We can’t have it both ways. We can’t empower ourselves and put down men. We can’t make them the enemy.

I agree with equal rights for all. I agree with the basis behind many feminist standpoints, but I think we have become overly sensitive to every little thing, instead of being proud that we live in a time where many of us CAN choose what sort of life we want to lead as a woman.

Let’s remember that being strong, being opinionated, and expecting equality as women, does not mean we need to emasculate the men in our lives. There’s enough room for all of us to thrive.

So there you go. That is why I disagree with the term feminism. It’s the F word I won’t use. Instead, I will continue to work hard, be a strong woman, be proud of all the strong women I know; some being stay at home moms, some being executives, some being both…and I will be just as proud of all the amazing men I know.

I’m not a feminist. I’m not all about women’s rights. I’m all about all of our rights. So instead of labeling it, and talking about it, go out there and live it. Be strong. Be true to yourself. And be good to everyone. xo!

Cheers! CasC
PS, you can totally enter your email address below to get an email from me EVERY TIME I write a new post! I promise I won’t send you any spam/weirdo fetish stuff! (No judgment, yo!)

 

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