It’s one of the first things we’re taught as children. Don’t scream. Don’t hit. Don’t throw a fit.
Use your words.
Sometimes though, using your words, changes everything.
This week I used my words. I sat down, I wrote out my thoughts and feelings, and I sent it to someone who needed to hear what I had to say. I sent it to someone who deserved to hear what I had to say. I wrote good things. I wrote true things. I wrote things I really meant.
Now this person can’t talk to me. Or maybe they won’t. Fuck, I don’t know, maybe they just don’t want to.
I knew this may happen. I knew when we talked earlier that day, long before I hit send, that saying what I had to say may change everything.
I hit send, anyways.
The thing is, I know this person. I understand this person. I’m aware of their flaws, I’m aware of all the good qualities they possess. I know that this person is tough. I know that this person is incredible. I know that this person would probably rather be hit by a train than risk being hurt.
“Leave before left.” I get it. It’s pretty much the way I get through life.
I know this person.
So I knew, when I sat down and wrote out what I needed to say, that I was taking a huge risk.
I don’t regret hitting send.
This person may not be able to speak to me. This person may need to stay the hell away from me. Jesus, I may have it all wrong and this person doesn’t give a damn about the words I said to them. But at least they know.
At least they know.
I’m glad they know.
It’s scary to use your words. It’s scary to say something to someone when you know you can’t take it back. It’s terrifying when you know you can keep things just as they are, if you just stay quiet. It requires bravery to say things that need to be said.
If there’s one thing this person taught me, it’s that. Take risks. Be brave.
I know it’s scary. Every single time I sit down and put words on paper, knowing people are going to read it, it scares me. I understand your fear. But say what needs to be said. Someone may need those words more than you know. And even if it changes everything, they’ll always have your words. Your beautiful, meaningful, wonderful words.
Use your words.
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