Autocorrect--Why do you make a fool of me?

Hello, my name is Nancy Chodash and I have a texting problem. I am not addicted to texting, in fact, I prefer to call people when I have more than 3 sentences to convey. My texting problem occurs when I swipe text. Swipe texting is when I put my index finger on the first letter of the word I want to make and move to the next letter, then the next letter, etc. without taking my finger off the screen. Once the word is done, I take my finger off and begin the next word. It is a faster technique for me, however, it has created too many autocorrect mistakes which have been quite problematic.

I am sure you have seen those funny autocorrect mistakes on social media. Sadly, I probably have such a long list of either inappropriate or side-splitting texts that I could publish a book. You may wonder why I just do not turn off my autocorrect. The reason is simple, I am lazy and impatient which, apparently, is a bad combination. The biggest problem I have using the swipe method is that I forget to read the text before sending it out only to find out later that I have made a fool of myself.

You must be wondering what texts I could have possibly sent that would cause me to blush or profusely apologize for my unknown error. I will share with you two texts that I have sent…please do not judge me.


My younger son and his fiancée called to inform us that they wanted to get married in the month of July. When my husband and I called my older son and his serious girlfriend about the good news, it turns out they too wanted to be married around the same time but now felt that they could not anymore. My husband and I discussed this interesting dilemma and we decided that if both children wanted to get married around the same time they should but we would need 6 weeks for this to be possible because their wedding would be out west. The next day I decided to text my older son’s girlfriend, whom I happen to be close with, to let her know the conversation I had with my husband.

The text I thought I had sent her (leaving out their names) was “You and my son should get married when you two want to, regardless of when my other son and his fiancée are getting married, just give us 6 weeks”. A couple minutes later I receive a text from her stating, “Your son and I do get naked when we want and we don’t ask permission from your other son or his fiancée”. I read her text and was quite confused. I then scrolled to my text message and apparently instead of the word “married” it autocorrected to the word naked. Yes, I just gave permission to my son and his girlfriend to get naked whenever they wanted. I called her up and we all had a great laugh. She still has that text, they are now married and they still get naked whenever they want.

The other autocorrect text I am sharing with you was unimaginable.  At times I occasionally text with my patients. I had received a text from a patient asking me a question regarding her visit that day. I texted back clarifying  the treatment plan for what we were treating. I received a text back with a series of questions because she had no idea she had gonorrhea. WHAT??? I scrolled to my previous text and somehow a word that I had swiped (I wish I knew which word that was) changed to the word gonorrhea. Of all the words autocorrect could have changed that word to, it happened to be gonorrhea and to a patient!! I have no idea why it autocorrected to this one specific word since I have never purposely texted the word gonorrhea EVER. I immediately called the patient and explained what happened and we had a nice chuckle but it sure was embarrassing.

not-aloneI know I cannot be the only one with this autocorrect syndrome. My kids love to point out all of my crazy texts I send to them. I would love to hear some embarrassing texts you have sent because knowing I am not alone with this problem would be very comforting. Thank you and have a greasy day…ugh, great day!

If you find this post funny, you should read:

American Girl Dolls of Chicago–Their Real Lives

Screw the Bucket List, I’m Writing a F**k it List

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    Nancy Chodash

    I am a nurse practitioner who not only treats patients, but has had chronic illnesses including cancer so I understand how frustrating medicine can be. But through all this, I have never lost my sense of humor and my ability to make people laugh. I love to cook, and since becoming gluten-free a year ago, I have recipes for everyone's tastes whether it be healthy, decadent, vegetarian, or gluten-free. My philosophy is all about health, food, laughter and life!

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