Hey dude blocking my driveway: is it really that hard to be a decent World Citizen?

My next door neighbor has been having some work done to his yard this summer. It looks really good and I have no issue with anyone trying to improve their property. The thing is, at least once a week the work crew blocks my driveway. Usually they only block my driveway for 10-15 minutes. However, last Friday I was working from home and noticed his vehicle once again parked blocking my driveway even though there were dozens of other open spots on the block.

You want me to park across the street? what am I a commoner!

You want me to park across the street? what am I a commoner!


I thought perhaps there was something I wasn’t realizing about the situation. I wondered why an apparently able bodied young man couldn’t park legally 10-15 ft further in either direction.  So while taking a coffee break on my porch stoop, the driver happened to walk toward his vehicle presumably to get something. I called out, in a non-threatening neutral tone:

“any particular reason why you need to block my driveway instead of park legally?”

Not wanting to assume the worse, I hoped he would enlighten me with some point of view I had not considered. Perhaps he was only going to be there for a few minutes like before. Or maybe because he drives a truck the size of a small tank, it is necessary to have the drive way so that he can jump out of his car easier. Instead of explaining he simple said [Direct Quote]:

“you want me to move? I move.”

I replied: “if you’re only staying for a few minutes, it’s fine. Otherwise please explain why you parked there instead of all the free legal spots on the street?”

He simply ignored me, got in his car and parked across the street. I didn’t really think much about it but i was starting to feel like a schmuck since he was all sheepish about it.


I finished my coffee and went back to work. During a break between calls, I noticed he was still in the neighbors back yard, staining a deck. This is not a 10 minute task. Apparently his Master Plan all along was to stain the deck with his car parked blocking my drive way the whole time.

Here’s the interesting thing: The spot in front of my neighbor’s house is ALWAYS open. The reason: there is a fire hydrant. This guy knew enough not to park in front of a fire hydrant but somehow doesn’t realize that parking in front of a drive way is wrong? Come. On.


Bookmark9-64-100 Parking prohibited – Fire hydrants, firelanes and various locations.

It shall be unlawful to park any vehicle in any of the following places:

(a) Within 15 feet of a fire hydrant;

(b) In a firelane;

(c) At any place where the vehicle will block vehicular access to or use of a driveway, alley or firelane;

Rather, he knows parking in front of the hydrant sends a clear “I’m a F-ing douche bag” message to everyone who passes by while also just asking for a Parking Enforcement Agent to write an easy ticket. Parking in front of my drive way is less risky. Most people will just assume it is the owner’s car because what kind of dick would block someone’s driveway!

This isn’t the first time he’s done something to piss off the block either.  Earlier this summer, he started working on the neighbors yard before 8am, making a lot of noise.  The neighbor on the other side not so politely told him there are noise ordinances and he shouldn’t be doing that stuff before 8am.


People have suggested things from calling the cops to writing something in lipstick on his car to even rolling a wheel barrel full of bricks down my driveway. I won’t do any of that because once this escalates, it doesn’t end well for me. He knows where I live and I cannot watch my house 24/7. It’s just too bad that this guy is so lazy that he cannot do the decent thing and park legally like a decent world citizen.

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