An Open Letter to my Creepy Co-Worker


Cancel my vacation to work on next year’s budget six months early? Fuckacular!

Dear Creepy Co-worker,

It looks like you read one of those self-help posts in LinkedIn. The one where they tell you to get up from you seat and walk over to someone’s desk to solve the problem.  Be a Super Star and go meet the challenge of the day at the source, it probably read.

That is great. That is awesome.  That is just so  fuck-tastic.

Here’s the thing. Last week you made me go through 126 emails because you either hadn’t read this article or didn’t think it applied yet. Even without reading the post myself I had the good sense to walk over and try resolve our issue.

The first time you weren’t at your desk. The seconds time you were on the phone and waived me away even though I’m pretty sure “two tickets in the mezzanine” has little to do with work in general or our project in particular.

The third time I’d tried Instant Messaging you to see if you has a moment. You ignored my message for 5 hours and then asked, as I was about to shut down my laptop to go home, if I had a moment.

“I didn’t see your IM because I had my slide deck open all day” you typed.

So today when I sent you a simple email asking if we should use two years of data for our presentation or go back three years, you really didn’t need to come to my desk, stand two inches away from me and glance over my shoulder until I noticed you. Creepy much?  And yes, you caught me looking at Amazon. You’re just lucky you didn’t catch me uploading of a selfie of your crotch sticking in my face to Facebook you big creep.  Or to Human Resources!

From now I’d like you to simply respond to my emails in a timely fashion.  If you feel the need to come talk to me in person, send me an IM asking if I have a minute first.  I do not want to feel the hair on the back of my neck rise because you are standing there, slowly exhaling your coffee breath as you look upon my computer screen and/or the back of my head.  At the very least figure out how to announce yourself as you walk into my airspace.


the co-worker who will someday be your boss!

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