Friends! Welcome BACK to 20 Questions!! I am so excited to be bringing this series back for a brief stint in these brutal winter months…especially to be starting out with the amazing, straight-talking, truth-telling Terri Cole. Terri is a psychotherapist, coach, motivational speaker, the host of an incredible Podcast (available on iTunes) and just an all-around source of no-bullshit wisdom. My kind of lady! If you aren’t familiar with the 20 Questions — Soul-Style series yet, you can read all of my past interviews here. Now? Off we go. Take it away, Terri!
1. Who are you?
2. What do you do?
Psychotherapist and Holistic Lifestyle coach (speaker/author/blogger/mother/wife/cancer survivor/sister/Reiki Master/Past Life Regressionist/Certified Master of Vedic Wisdom & Meditation Teacher/Zumba Instructor/Podcaster/Baller & Boss 😉
3. Why do you do it?
Help people transform their careers, lives and relationships though online courses, talks, Podcasts, et cetera.
4. How did you find your way to it?
I was always the one people came to way before I became a therapist. It was just a matter of time.
5. How do you feel when you do it?
Masterful, in the zone, flowing, happy.
6. What is the joy that keeps you up at night?
My hubs, Victor.
7. What is one thing you still have to practice every day?
8. What are you always searching for?
9. What have you found after searching?
That I can create inner peace if I stay vigilant (sounds counterintuitive, but left to my own devices I would be a raging Type A workaholic still)!
10. How do you stay connected to your inner core of peace?
Daily meditation practice.
11. What makes you feel led or guided?
My gut instincts.
12. What do you do when you can’t hear God (or the Universe, or Source, or your intuition) speaking to you?
Slow down — spend more time on my meditation pillow.
13. What is the difference between resistance and fear?
They are basically the same. The foundation of resistance is fear.
14. Where does the idea come from that we are broken, unworthy or undeserving?
Childhood wounds that were never healed.
15. How do you move past that to connect with others on a soul level?
I don’t have to move past it; I see everyone from a soul perspective.
16. You are all about FREEDOM, which I love, and yet I’m not sure I necessarily know how to feel “free” in my day-to-day life — how do you feel FREE on the daily?
Stay mindfully connected to your body through out the day. The moment you start to feel constricted, stop and breathe. Analyze what is happening. You can choose freedom if you can become the observer of yourself and your reaction to frustration and situations.
17. Setting boundaries is another topic you deal with frequently. When you set boundaries in relationships and around things like your time and energy, does it always have to be something that’s broadcasted? Can we set boundaries and keep them to ourselves?
Yes and no. You don’t need to ‘broadcast’ them, but in order for it to be a boundary someone other than you needs to know it exists through your action of enforcing it. You can set firm boundaries with anyone with love and kindness.
18. You have evolved from being overworked, always on the go and burned out to a much more Zen state thanks to a lot of healthy lifestyle changes and good habits. Was meditation the “gateway” practice that opened the door and allowed you to make the rest of the changes in your life, or was it something else?
Meditation, a cancer diagnosis and finding love with my man, Vic.
19. I really appreciate your background in psychotherapy and how you can see through patterns of behavior with laser-like precision. Can you identify a way I can see through to the root cause of a pattern of behavior in my own life? Is it only through working with an outside, objective observer such as yourself?
I think you can do it on your own. (This is what I am teaching right now in my virtual class, The Real Love Course.) Look at what eludes you in your life, and I promise you there will be a way to connect the dots backward to an original injury. When you realize what that is and honor it by talking about it or writing about it — your compulsion to repeat unsatisfying patterns will lessen. I have worksheets for all areas of your life called Downloaded Blueprints, which help clients identify where their limiting beliefs came from so they can change them.
20. I like how you say that the opposite of freedom is FEAR. I am feeling very blind to what fears might be holding me back right now in business. How can I connect more deeply to where I might be leaking power or going unconscious around fear?
When you know you can and should step up but don’t, you need to ask yourself: What does success mean? What do I think will happen if I become really successful? What will I lose? Also look at your parents’ relationship to success. Were you raised in a family system that thought it was crude to ‘draw attention’ to yourself? What was the family culture around either success or standing out? The answers to these questions will lead you to the fear-filled thought that is holding you back. Fear of success and fear of failure are two sides of the same coin — the coin is fear of change.
Terri! Isn’t she so spot on? I get such joy out of her honesty. It’s true — if you can spot the story, you can spot what needs to be healed. I so appreciate the reminder to stop, go within, name the fear and see how far back it goes. I will also say this: Her guided meditations are amazing. If you find a lot of the voices on meditation apps to be less than calming, give Terri’s a listen. I still remember the first time I listened, it was so powerful!
Stay tuned for next week when we interview the light-bringing Meggan Watterson. Definitely not to be missed.
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