Category: Grief

Living on after a loved one's suicide: After Anthony Bourdain and all the others

Suicide – so final, so impulsive, so theoretically preventable, so hard to understand, so very hard to forgive. I am going to miss Anthony Bourdain, who died of suicide yesterday in Paris, a few days after fashion icon Kate Spade did in New York. I will miss Anthony in a devoted TV viewer sort of way. ... Read more »

Author Sue Grafton: M is for Missing you already

Sue Grafton died the other day. The author of 25 detective novels, she’s been with me since 1982 when A is for Alibi came out. Her books took me from life as a young mother through two careers to present day where I am reading her most recent, and it turns out last, Y is... Read more »

Dave's Mom, the Everymom

I miss Letterman at night when I used to take those last minutes of the day to settle in with someone with a bad attitude after I had spent all day being pleasant and positive and therapeutic. But I might miss Dave’s Mom more. Lately, oddly, I’ve been wondering about her, before I found out that... Read more »
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Looking at grieving through a new lens: The Book

I’ve been looking at the world through one lens for a while now, and it’s got my eyes open. I catch a bit of Mrs. Doubtfire on TV and it seems so sad to me. Funny too, but at its heart, so sad. I spend Tuesday nights with This Is Us waiting to learn how Jack died, and... Read more »

Cindy on Jeopardy!: A heartbreaking last-ditch victory

Last Thursday, I was strapped to my To Do list all day. By 3:30 I’d had it and needed some company, so I turned on Jeopardy! which makes me feel smart and then dumb in a rapidly-cycling question-by-question rotation. I love checking out the contestants and can empathize with their cocktail of excitement and fear,... Read more »

The best meal of my life: Fried chicken with memories

The best meal of my life was on a beautiful fall day, crisp and bright blue, the day of the memorial service following my mom’s death from Alzheimer’s Disease. She had died a few weeks earlier, under hospice care, with two of us present. The relief we felt was real, as the years’ long decline that took... Read more »
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Castro's death in Cuba: what you see and what you hear still don't match

We arrived in Havana on the 50th anniversary of The Revolution, in 2009. Months before, as soon as we heard about it, we’d signed up for a humanitarian trip for a group of writers that allowed us to visit as long as we brought school supplies and medical supplies along to drop off during visits... Read more »

Life without Leonard Cohen: At least you left your music behind

Leonard Cohen died on Monday but his death wasn’t announced until today. An hour later, his website had 43,000 comments of appreciation and farewell. By another hour, 106,000; by now many more. This is what I’d tell him if I could: I lost track of you for a while, Leonard, somewhere between Suzanne and In... Read more »

Fifteen years after 9/11: From unity to fracture

9-11-01 It wasn’t often that my husband peppered me with phone calls at the office. He knew that I was usually in session with counseling clients, so my phone was mostly off. When I saw mid- morning that he’d called several times, it made me edgy. I called right away and he said, “Have you... Read more »
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A week after Orlando: Will anything change?

When mass shootings happen, we always learn something new. There’s a new group of victims – school children, co-workers, LGBT people, church people, marathoners, bystanders, concert-goers; from different places – Sandy Hook, Littleton, Orlando, Boston, Paris, Belgium, Scotland. There’s a new perpetrator – a jihadist, a disgruntled worker, a mentally ill person, a terrorist cell,... Read more »