The nonlinear life of a foster mom and why congratulations fall flat

The nonlinear life of a foster mom and why congratulations fall flat
Life as a foster parent is nonlinear. When you are fertile. When you have biological children, there are certain things you can expect. You get pregnant. You have a newborn. That newborn turns into an infant. The infant turns into a toddler, who turns into a preschooler, who turns into a full blown kid, who... Read more »

On finding peace in grief as an agnostic foster parent

I am not a religious person. The last time I set foot in a church was pre-COVID at the request of my 8 year old foster daughter. The time before that was a decade ago if not more. To be honest it made my skin crawl. I felt walled in. I sat in the pew... Read more »

Failed adoption: Hope, heartbreak and lying caseworkers

Failed adoption: Hope, heartbreak and lying caseworkers
“Can one of you call me when you have a minute?” That’s never a good text message to get from a caseworker and I pulled over immediately to respond. I was circling the parking lot at the McHenry County Courthouse complex in an attempt to find the vague WIC building. I set out that morning... Read more »
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Unfounded: How we handled false accusations as foster parents.

Unfounded: How we handled false accusations as foster parents.
It’s not a matter of if, but when. That’s what seasoned foster parents will tell you when you first enter the world of foster care. False accusations come with the territory of raising other people’s children, especially when those people are angry, bitter, and possibly struggling mentally. When those mothers, fathers are in a place... Read more »

Reunification hits home

Reunification hits home
I didn’t have work or anything to do today but the second my eyes opened at 6 a.m. I was awake for good. We knew this day was coming but the reality sat heavy in my chest. My two youngest children are moving out today. As a foster parent, you know going into your relationship... Read more »

When family isn't forever as a foster parent

When family isn't forever as a foster parent
I catch a glimpse of this out of the corner of my eye and wonder when, if, HOW, we should take it down. Family, not forever, but family. Family for a time, family in my heart. I wonder how they are, if they safe, what they are doing, if they eat regularly. I wonder if... Read more »
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Mother's Day as a foster mama gets complicated

Mother's Day as a foster mama gets complicated
What is motherhood when the children you are mothering aren’t your own, yours to keep? It’s been a few months since our youngest two left and while 99% of the time I feel 99% at peace with the fact that they have moved on, there are moments when it hits me all over again. I... Read more »

Mommy? I miss my other Mommy.

Mommy? I miss my other Mommy.
My wife and I became foster parents almost a year ago and just two days after our license became active I got The Call. The call we had been wondering about and hoping for. The call that would potentially bring our future children into our lives. I had kept my phone on with the ringer... Read more »