Tag: Moms who drink and swear: True Tales of Loving My Kids While Losing My Mind

Another post about lice because OMG fuck lice!

A descendant of American Revolution Heroes tweeted this to me today. I got itchy because FUCK LICE! It’s so awful in every fucking way that just thinking about when my family had to deal with the blood sucking bastards makes my sympathetic nervous system go ape shit. APE SHIT I SAY! Here is the tweet.... Read more »

Will you take the ultimate parenting challenge?

Despite my brick of snot brain, I could have written a Blogapalooza post last night about facing challenges, but earlier in the day when I told my son about Blogapalooza, he was intrigued and so uncharacteristically interested in writing, I couldn’t resist letting him run with it. I didn’t know what the topic would be... Read more »

A conversation with Baby Sideburns and Moms Who Drink And Swear

Here on ChicagoNow, we have some talented motherfuckers, like me. Smug much? Hells yes. Blogging is the one thing I do well. But I digress. I try to read as many ChicagoNow blogs as I can. I want to support my community, sure, but really my reason for reading so many blogs is selfish. The... Read more »

A week in the life of Reese Witherspoon - A lesson in empowerment for women

I am fully aware that two blog posts about Reese Witherspoon (read the last one here) in one week could be perceived as creepy, but it’s already an established fact that I’m odd and sort of “off” by regular person standards, so I said to myself, – Self – fuck it! Write about Reese again... Read more »

Youth is wasted on the young

I am lucky to say that I’m still tight with my girlfriends from childhood. We talk about everything you can imagine a bunch of middle age moms would talk about, but for some reason, the conversation always has a smattering of bizarre topics that make me snort laugh. This morning I choked on the spit... Read more »

The Karma Train to Parentville

WHO THE HELL IS THIS MAN? Meh, I'm not in the Google mood, but damn he's right.  A good way to pass time is staring at your baby. Do it.
Long ago I set the stage for my current situation, which is, if you can imagine, me tied down to some metaphorical railroad tracks while the symbolic karma train runs me over a few dozen times a day on it’s way to wherever it’s going in Parentville. I will tell you that the metaphorical train... Read more »

The Winner's Circle

THANK YOU TO ALL WHO MADE ME LAUGH UNTIL I CRIED. Your participation in response to my blog post, was much appreciated! I can’t even tell you how much I laughed and I can’t stress how completely and totally impossible it would have been for me to decide the winners on my own, so thank... Read more »

Raise your glass to real life

I have always enjoyed a comfortable, easy relationship with my mom. We go together like peanut butter and jelly! That being said, on a scale of one to infinity times six, I felt the infinity times six UNeasy while sitting on the sofa next to her as we watched the opening scene from the movie,... Read more »

Some Nights You Win at Parenting

In 1980 something, (I can’t tell you exactly when – protecting privacy you know) my then boyfriend made me a mix tape. AND-IT-WAS-THE-MACK-DADDY-OF-ALL-MIX-TAPES! At least for me it was, I’m talking ro-man-tic; THE ultimate mix of tunes – classic, fun, sad, and holy cats did it have a lot of songs! I’d had guys make... Read more »

Laundry - The itch I want to teach my children to scratch

I read somewhere that many marriages last ‘till death, simply because both partners didn’t want to get divorced at the same time. Makes sense to me, because if one person is always fighting for the marriage, things have a much better chance of working out. I think that is part of why my husband and... Read more »