Archive for March 2014

Kyrie Eleison, Motherf*ckers!

Kyrie Eleison and beep beep, Motherfuckers! I hate driving, but right now, in my life, it’s a necessary evil. Sometimes when I’m driving, I call on Jesus. JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL! I love Jesus. I’m an agnostic, but the words and actions of Jesus were so powerful and authentic, I can’t help but love him.... Read more »

The vaccine debate: Are you a passionate advocate or an unintentional jerk?

I’d like to wax philosophical about why people do and say things that, despite their best intentions, unintentionally result in making them sound more like passionate jerks instead of passionate advocates. Am I describing you? I AM describing myself. Want to wax with me, Jerk? I’d love it if you would and I’d love it... Read more »

My guilty pleasure doesn't make me feel a bit f*cking guilty

This month’s Blogapalooza challenge? Defend your guilty pleasure. WITH GUILT FREE PLEASURE, MOTHERFUCKERS! First I want to ask you to tell me your favorite color. Actually, don’t. Because I don’t give a shit what your favorite color is, but that’s not because I don’t care about you. I care a lot about you as a... Read more »

A few things about parenting and listening (and farting)

“Can you say ‘Momma? Say ‘ball? ‘Moo’ says the cow. Can you say ‘moo?’” I said these things hundreds of times to my kids when they were babies, encouraging them to talk. “’Why don’t you ever ask for Daddy? No, I don’t have time to play ball with you. Stop ‘mooing,’ Little Cow, you are... Read more »

It's called Facebook, not Fetishbook!

Sometimes I feel like I’m too weird and twisted, but then I quickly remind myself that I’m actually quite averagely weird and twisted in the overall weird and twistedness in the world. I mean, sheesh, I have no fetishes, dangerous compulsions, obsessions or unreasonable phobias, aside from my fear of feet, which is not so... Read more »

Money saving tips (and how to get you a delicious bitch, yo!)

I need to save more money, but saving money is hard when there’s not a lot of extra coming in, and everything that is coming in, is, for the most part, going right back out. You know what I’m saying? Of course you do, because who the fuck doesn’t, aside from the people who don’t... Read more »

New Horizons, B*tches!

I’m always surprised when someone I consider to be a bit formal or mainstream reaches out to me in a positive and welcoming way with regard to my blog and book. My book and blog may have a different tone than some of the other stuff in the book and blogosphere about mental health and... Read more »

Sufi Wisdom and Baby Goats

Have you heard this Sufi saying –? “Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates. At the first gate, ask yourself, ‘Is it true?’ At the second ask, ‘Is it necessary?’ At the third gate ask, ‘Is it kind?’” Before you answer, let me tell you three things. First thing, Sufism is the... Read more »

I wasn't in Playboy because I wasn't the whole package

1988… J: Your your boobs are absolutely perfect. I can’t stop staring at them. Your boobs should be in Playboy. Goddamn your boobs! Me: I know. Really, I know. They are magnificent, but I don’t have the whole package. J: You have enough. Seriously. Perfect tits. You should get pictures taken. My God… Me: Are... Read more »