Why my house smells like a fart

I’m seriously considering breaking my 24 hour need vs. want rule for buying shit and getting this sign. I don’t need it. I want it. Sooner rather than later. I think my house needs a disclaimer hanging on the front door. Really, it’s only fair to our potential house guests that they know the risks before come inside. Boys live here.

I should hang this on my front door!

I should hang this on my front door!

Image and other fart stuff found on the “Popular items for farts” page on Etsy. Yes, this is a real thing.


Zach: This entire house smells like a fart.

Me: No it doesn’t. YOU smell like a fart.

Zach: I just showered.

Me: Doesn’t matter. You are a teenage boy, therefore you smell like a fart all the time. Nobody knows why. It’s a goddamn mystery.

Zach: It’s the house.

Me: It’s you.

Zach: Every room I go in smells like a fart.

Me: Every room I go in that has YOU in it smells like a fart.

Cate walks into the room…

Cate: Who farted?

Me to Zach: Um…hello?

Cate: Oh yeah, it’s just Zach stink. Why does he always smell like a fart?

Me: Teenage boys just do. Nobody knows why. It’s a mystery.

Zach: I’m outta here.

Me: Good. Then it won’t smell like fart anymore.

Cate: Do you think the guys from One Direction smell like farts?

Me: I don’t think it, I KNOW it. All boys smell like farts.

Cate: Let’s snuggle now that it smells less farty in here.

Me: YES! And we can watch Good Luck Charlie in a fart-free environment.

Cate: Unless one of us farts.

Me: True.

Cate: Still, our farts smell better than Zach.

Me: Also true.

Dad: I’M HOME!

Dad comes into the room.

Cate: Now it smells like farts again. Gross!

Me: Do you think we should get our own place away from these farty boys?

Cate: I don’t think it, I KNOW it!

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