How NOT to be a lame-wad

See that photo?

See it?

Do you? BECAUSE IT’S FUCKING AWESOME and so is the blog post, read it. You’ll love it! My friend Tara, a fellow blogger here at Chicagonow posted it yesterday with the caption, “Front and center – BOO YA!”

I cackled and giggled and clapped my hands. I actually clapped my hands. Tara is a new friend and I supposed my reaction might seem a bit overblown, but damn it’s so much fun to see her joy!

And I have recently been invited into a mom blogger group on Facebook where lots of big things are happening for this group of clever, kind and whacky broads. It’s true that I have no flippin clue what they are talking about 79.43% of the time when they talk about blog stuff, but I do a shit ton of giggling and clapping when I do understand what the hell they are doing or saying and when I don’t.


Because it’s delicious to see the good stuff. I eat it up.

Not long ago, well, sort of long ago, about 3 years ago, so it’s long if you are five years old, but not if you are over 20. Blarg – I digressed there, big time. But I have a point, I swear! Anyway, 3 years ago, I was starting to have an increase in blog readers and “fans” on Facebook. Most of these people were strangers to me. I won’t go into detail, but there were a few people close to me, both in proximity and in heart, that were not just a little unsupportive, they were massively unsupportive. A few of them were merely assholes from my neighborhood, jerks in general, but a handful were friends. Things sure changed when I became “internet famous” and got a book deal. But I had to let all that go and not take it too personally. It wasn’t easy and I still have my moments where I need to take a lot of deep breaths or walk away to avoid saying cranky things, but the hurt has never stopped me from supporting friends or acquaintances (and their children) in all their endeavors. I always have kind words for people.

ALWAYS. Even if I’m not always thinking kind things, I keep it in check and give my peeps two thumbs up. Actions speak louder than fearful thoughts of inadequacy or jealousy.

Now, I often have difficulty accepting compliments. It’s pathological really, but I do feel confident in complimenting myself for a job well done. One thing I do really well, REALLY WELL, is that I support and love like a fucking champ. I just do. It’s really what I’m best at in the entire world. I wouldn’t trade this gift for anything. A quote attributed to Abraham Lincoln has inspired me for decades –

“People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

Deep, right? It reeks of fabulous brilliance and positivity. Choosing to be happy? Not easy, but nothing worth having ever really is.

One weird day when I was still in my early 20’s, I decided that I could try to be happy always and that would include being happy for others too. I get better every year at this, but year after year it gets harder to deny how lonely it feels sometimes, knowing that most often, I give much more than I get and that there’s some hard core bitterness among women that I know. It’s ugly stuff. I was going to write a little ditty about it, but my friend Patti did it so perfectly, I decided to link you to her blog post about how not to be a lame-wad. It’s just so perfect. It reeks of snuggly puppies and sunshine.

Read it. I’ll wait.

Patty is a old friend. Old as in over 40 and old as in I’ve known her for 30 years. On Saturday night, despite having sore feet and a hungry tummy, she gave me the best haircut of my life. I have a pixie cut and I cackled and giggled and clapped as I looked in the mirror. My friend is wicked talented and I look so adorable that I fear the adorable police will arrest me today when I take my mom to the pulmonologist. I’m serious. The hair cut is THAT GOOD and I am THAT CUTE. And it’s okay for me to say both those things and for me to feel happy about saying them. I choose this joy, this love, and this positive funkified full of power way of feeling for others.

Please read this eloquent and intensely life affirming awesome fucking blog post by a real woman – AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN. And share it. And I’m going to write about this kind of stuff more often. I even added a new category to my blog called How NOT to be a lame-wad. I’m going to keep working on being a non-lame-wad and I hope you will too.

You can start by supporting your fellow vagina havers, even if it’s hard for you, even if it makes you feel like less, that you aren’t good enough and you get scared. And if you feel that way, even a little bit, that’s how you know you have a long way to go before you stop being a lame-wad.

So get a move on, bitches. And you can be as adorable as me if you get your sassy on with Patty from Tribeca Salon Services. Well, maybe not AS adorable as me, but…..

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