Fifty Shades of Funny: Hook-ups, Break-ups and Crack-ups

There are people who refuse to use the proper words when discussing their genitalia. I am not one of these people. There are also people who are uncomfortable talking about sex. I am not one of those people either. And neither are some of the people who contributed to the collection of essays called, “Fifty Shades of Funny: Hook-ups, Break-ups and Crack-ups.”

It was two years ago when one of the editors, DC Stanfa, asked me to contribute a little something to this project. I was excited to be asked, but wary of doing so. Not because I didn’t have a juicy tale to tell, but because I didn’t see myself as a writer, at least not like the other people who were part of the endeavor. At the time, I was merely ripping off quick rants and blogs, not really giving much thought to the craft of writing. I knew next to nothing about the process of creating a humor essay, but I went for it, and I did so because I believe that sex should be talked about, written about, and had – frequently. It was and still is very important to me to be a part of a culture that does not EVER correlate sexuality with shame in any way.

Lisa K. Nelson, a sitcom writer for shows such as Everybody Loves Raymond, Ellen and Disney’s Crash and Bernstein, wrote what I believe to be the most perfect description of the book: “A quirky mix of stories, brimming with heart, humor and humiliation. It’s like the Island of Misfit Toys wrote a book.”

I suppose in our own ways, each of us who contributed a story to this book are misfits, but without the misfits in the world, sex and sexuality would still be a taboo topic and some genius wouldn’t have invented the four speed battery operated zebra print vibrator, for which MY lady parts (clitoris, vagina, vulva, etc.) are extremely grateful. I am not ashamed to admit that.

As funny as this book is as a whole, each of the stories communicates an important truth that is sometimes lost among the humor. That truth is that no matter how differently we all approach the topic of sexual intimacy, sex is a topic that must be discussed. Without getting all gloomy and dark, I’ll just reiterate the FACT that healthy sexuality is essential to our overall health. There is a long history of shame being associated with sex, and that’s just stupid. In George Michael’s catchy 1980’s pop song, I want your sex, he sings – “It’s natural…it’s chemical…it’s logical…HABITUAL!”

This collection of stories is diverse. And bizarre. Some pieces are side splitting funny and others thought provoking and a bit sad, but each of the stories are more about relationships and sexual identity than the act of sex or the names of our naughty bits. Yes, sex is a natural, chemical, logical and habitual thing, but for human beings, sex is also complicated because of these relationships.

Obviously I have some bias in recommending this book, however I do not have any financial incentive to talk about it. I was not compensated for this blog post. I was paid a flat fee for contributing and given a copy of the book, along with a few others to giveaway to friends and family. I’d like to give a few away to MWDAS readers who love to read, especially stories about blow up dolls, ben wa balls, the sexual side effects of anti-depressants and theories of how Michael Jackson’s children were conceived.

My son had a very strange idea about how babies were made. This clip from the movie, Knocked Up, is one magnificently imaginative hypothesis from a little one.

If you have a story about your own kid’s fantastically wrong idea about where babies come from, email me at I will be sharing the top five funny stories and having readers vote on the top two winners, who will receive a copy of the book, “Fifty Shades of Funny: Hook-ups, Break-ups and Crack-ups” Edited by DC Stanfa and Susan Reinhardt (which includes my essay titled, “Is the King Your Pop?”

* Just click on the red links with the book title to order*

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