Archive for July 2012

Talking about boobs and babies with eight year old girls

  What’s wrong with this picture?   If you think it’s the poster of Selena Gomez on the door, you are wrong. That little minx is a triple threat with a bright future and a long career ahead of her. There are worse images to have to endure on a daily basis around my house.... Read more »

St. Baldrick's is at is again with Girl's night out!

Cancer is the biggest douche bag ever. I’m serious. It’s totes an opportunistic prick. I don’t know anyone who disagrees. If cancer were a cereal, it would be ass flakes. If cancer were a plant, it would be a hybrid poison ivy type of thing that smells worse than egg farts poofed through a dog... Read more »

Nittany Liars Part II

The debate and dialogue over the Penn State debacle blows my mind. MIND BLOWN! When the scandal and sadness was first smattering the news and nets, I wrote about it. You can read it here on Chicago Now: I decided to write about it today to throw out an idea that might or might... Read more »

How to be a worry free mom

There are some days when it’s just not easy to be at home with kids. And before some nit-picky, angry, lunatic skips to the comment section to ask me why I had kids if I was just going to complain about them, let me take a moment to say to that person, “Fuck you,” and... Read more »

Don't slaughter the messenger: Moms (and dad) bloggers discuss having it all

For some people, name dropping is saying things like, “So the other day, me and Beyonce were laughing about….” OR “Oh, so I forgot to tell you that I bumped into Michelle Obama when I was at The White House and….” OR “When I was at Whole Foods the yesterday buying organic lemon grass juice... Read more »

How I got my husband hooked on dinosaur porn

Somehow my husband and I manage to stay married, which is pretty lucky seeing as we were very young and basically just thought each other to be hot and funny. I didn’t consider money, clearly, since he majored in education and wanted to be a Lutheran school teacher. I didn’t think about how his delicious... Read more »

Santa and sexy do NOT mix

Suspended disbelief and prolonged innocence. Those are the two things I’m working hard to provide for my daughter. She knows what she needs to know, I mean the stuff that an eight year old who is on the immature side should know. Safety, blah, strangers, good and bad touch, don’t play with matches or take... Read more »

Mom-trapped: Can a schlub like you "escape" an abusive relationship?

I’m about as terrible as a gal can be when it comes to the celeb smut. TERRIBLE. I usually know the 411 on Britney and K-Fed, Brangelina, JLo and TomKat, because there are only so many Master’s degrees and action packed paperback novels for me to read before I need something that allows my brain... Read more »

Gaying up your day with the God particle

I do not enjoy arguing. I don’t. But I’ll argue my face off if I’m in the presence of a person using quotes from The Bible to support the argument that gays don’t have the right to marry or that homosexuality is a horrible sin and that God hates “fags.” I HATE even being in... Read more »