Archive for June 2012

And the truth shall set you free

I’m wrong quite often. When I was younger, it used to bother me to be wrong. As I got older, I realized that being funny meant that I could hide my ignorance. The funny thing is, I was getting a lot smarter. I embraced my smartness as a twenty-something in a way I rejected as... Read more »

Agree to Disagree - even if you'd rather punch the person in the throat

My mother turns 70 today. YES! Yes, yes, yes! I love that I am lucky enough to still have a parent living. And this idea makes me say, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO – there is just no WAY- my mom can be 70! If she is 70, how can I still be in my 20’s with my whole... Read more »

Jesus, George Washington and an iPod - why I don't go into the Apple Store

Girl      Who was in charge before God? Me       Nobody. Girl      Somebody had to be in charge. Me      Yes, I suppose so. I’ve never thought about that. Girl      You should. I think it was probably Jesus or his sister. Me      Did Jesus have a sister? Girl      He did. Me      Who told you that? Girl     You learn... Read more »

It just does matter - why you should send your kid to camp!

The mom blogosphere is overflowing with stories about tears and triumph and tomfoolery on the subject of taking kids to summer camp. I am having a good damn time reading them. I’m having an even better time knowing that the words of wisdom of other mothers who drink and swear (and fathers) who have been through the... Read more »

Portraits of Mom

My daughter drew this picture of  me yelling at the dog. I do this frequently, as our puppy is a rescue and not quite right in the noggin. But I love her just the way she is even if she lays pipe under the piano bench after she’s been outside for 10 minutes barking her... Read more »

Cellulite, Wild Bill and the Paradigm Principle

If my life depended on it I could not remember the name of the deli I was at when I first became aware of cellulite, but I’m telling you right fucking NOW that I remember re-thinking my sandwich choice. I was 16 years old and if I’m being honest, I was Britney Spears in her... Read more »