Yesterday when I woke up, I knew it was going to be a drag of a day. The previous evening, I had been to an event with fellow bloggers and I’ll just say it, I GOT SHITFACED! I don’t usually get that way, I hate being drunk. I’m like Jeff Spiccoli in the sense that all I really need is a cool buzz (tasty waves optional), and I’m FINE!
So boophuckinghoo for me, right? I was exhausted and hung WAY over with a busy day ahead. I rolled over, grabbed my phone and read an email that said, “I can’t believe you defaced the art of Charles Schultz with that disgusting picture on your Facebook page. You lost a fan today.” I’ve received quite a few of those regarding that image. Here is the offending image
Sorry, but I’m not sorry. That cartoon and caption made me laugh until I cried. It was shared hundreds of times by MWDAS fans, “liked” over a thousand times and the comments about it were the stuff comic dreams are made of. However, being exhausted and hung over, it did make me a tad sad to have once again caused such butt hurt to an oversensitive crybaby. I love my fan page and I’m not changing it. Much like you, some days the laughs I get from all of YOU are mood altering life savers. My goal is not to hurt feelings or offend, but occasionally I do. This one caused a shitstorm, remember?
So like I said before I got COMPLETELY off topic with that ADORABLE photo of my daughter in a “Future HOOTERS girl t-shirt,” getting all drunk and staying out late really screwed me up. My sensory system was a hot mess. I felt itchy and uncomfortable, like bugs were crawling all over my skin. Vision? Blurry. Head? Pounding. Gait? Stumbly. Body? Stinky. Mood? Foul. Foul as a 5 day old pile of rotting garbage. Like this
I’m ashamed and embarassed to say that I cranked a bit at everyone yesterday morning. If it were someone else in my family acting all put out and nasty, spreading their trashy mood all about, I would have said, “DUDE WHAT IS UP YOUR ASS TODAY?” However, with no one to blame but my hungWAYover self, I tossed my phone aside and got down to business on this
All day project there in that photo, right? Between loads of laundry, it took me 5 hours to write a freelance piece that would normally take me a maximum of 2. The rest of the day was spent job hunting, lawn mowing, kid care-taking, meal making, book writing, leaf raking and garage sale preparing. Sadly, throughout the entire day, the foulness continued. It wasn’t just my mood. My filthy, un-showered body was annoying me as well. I felt like I was going to explode out of my skin, which was coated in a layer of slime, flecks of dirt, flyaway grass. My itchy, scratchy skin was making me feel wriggly and snappy like a goddamn viper! I was scratching all over, but especially on my ass. Itchy ass +hangover+general exhaustion from a very busy day = walking, talking, toxic waste dump of a zombie mom (who was very aware that she only had herself to blame).
I’ve never been so happy to see a day end as I was yesterday. After a round of apologies, I tucked my kids in bed, poured some wine and headed off for a long, hot shower. Yes indeed, a shower would wash me clean the day’s chore stank and douchey disposition. I had to peel off my dirty, sweaty uniform of yoga pants, a stained t-shirt, sports bra, and too tight panties with weak elastic and that’s when I found these stickers IN MY BUTT CRACK!
Which answers the question about what was up my ASS yesterday.
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