Que sais je?

We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world.” Helen Keller

 I have NO idea if the birth rate in this country is declining due to the high costs associated with raising a child, or if Americans are clinically depressed.   I do know about joy.  

 I DO know that when one of my children is merely breathing in my presence, I am joyful. The joy that I feel is almost painful to me. When a person chooses to become a parent, they do it in part because they want to feel the joy.  I don’t think the word joy really describes it. As a matter of fact, I don’t think there is a word that could ever come close to describing the unbelievable complex and powerful feelings a parent experiences.  A word? A sentence? How about a paragraph? O.K., two paragraphs. Still not enough? Infinity times two of words, sentences, paragraphs, pages, books, and volumes provide the capacity necessary to contain this ….joy.  Joy. It’s such a small part of what it feels like to be a parent.

I DO know that I’m also afraid. I’m afraid that even with my heaps of education, careful planning and legendary cheap-ness, it is still difficult to provide the basic necessities for my children. I do know that it IS important to consider the practical realities and things that we can explain and describe with simple words when deciding if and when to start or grow a family.

 I have an abundance of joy.  I can’t feed or clothe my children with joy. I have yet to meet a joyful child who doesn’t have their basic needs met. It’s hard to smile and leap around joyfully when you are hungry, cold or sick and uncomfortable because your parents cannot afford to take you to the doctor.  I am less joyful when medical bills make it so that my kid has to go another pay period with a hole in his shoe because we just do not have the joy, I MEAN MONEY, to buy him a new pair. It tends to suck some of the joy out of being a parent.

 Notice that I said SOME of the joy. It’s not black and white, all of nothing, us against them. Of course this leads me back to joy.  Becoming a parent requires a person to be patient and brave. As Helen Keller so eloquently stated, these characteristics are not developed as a result of bathing in bliss. It’s just not that simple, is it? We must choose to be responsible for our own decisions and willing to accept the consequences of our choices, but this does NOT mean that there is only one right decision or choice. Does it?

So in the future, I’m going to take a cue from Michel de Montaigne and hang with the peasants who,  “haven’t been educated sufficiently to reason incorrectly,” because as he always says, “Que sais je? “

I KNOW, RIGHT? Joy doesn’t even begin to describe this. http://video.foxbusiness.com/v/1176351370001/recession-causing-family-size-to-shrink/?playlist_id=87185



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    J'ai obtenu que la joie, la joie, la joie, de la joie de mon coeur!

    Love, love the pic! Don't know if I could have held my tongue as well! You rocked it!

  • i have no idea what you said, but i love french. it sounds purty. I LOVE THE PICTURE AS WELL. IT'S GLOOOOOOOOOORIOUS. i held my tongue because i'm a big sweetheart and hate to argue. i also realize that we just have very different ideas/perspectives/genitalia so......

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    In reply to Nicole Knepper:

    I've got that joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart! Online translators are awesome! Your restraint was wonderful and made them look totally ignorant. Yes, it's wonderful to have a house full of kids when you're raking in the dough and don't have to worry about feeding, clothing and housing them. I only have 2 and that gets tough sometimes. They have everything they need, but sometimes it's a stretch!

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    Your face says it all - what the hell did I get myself into...
    I'm going to be one snarky bitch when I say "Stick to your blog babe" and Mary "stick to English" and Fox "suckit"

  • Very well said. And yes we must be responsible enough to know when bringing to many children into the world is the wrong decision. I thought you were great! Your refusal to let him engage you in his BS was admirable. And the look on your face is more of a did you really just say that mountain of crap! I experience great joy with my children, I just knew when more would have been less joy. As someone commented on the MWDS group page if the discussion had been about having 6 kids and being on welfare his reaction and opinion would have been much different. Thanks for keeping it real Nicole!

  • it's easy to say you love having 6 kids when you make 6 figures a year. when was the last time they had to decide between getting the car fixed and paying for daycare? pretty sure NEVER.

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    I'm sorry, but that guy is a MORON. Maybe he can afford college for six kids, but the majority of parents cannot. My decision not to have more kids was in many ways a financial one--I don't want to have more children if it means I am taking opportunities away from the child I already have. Parents need to think responsibly about this--it shouldn't just be an emotional decision.

  • That was good! I definately could not have held my tongue. It is very unfortunate how many people keep popping out the babies, with no thoughts of any of this. Then there is all the welfare and the "free or reduced" meals for the kids in schools at the taxpayers expense and all the other programs that come at the expense of the taxpayers that drain out economy. If people use their heads and plan, things may be a little better for everyone.

    Now I am not against helping out those in need. I needed help myself once. I was grateful for it and I try to pay it forward every chance I get. But it wasn't meant to be a fulltime hand out so I can sit my ass at home and have a ton of babies and collect cash from the government.

    Take care of what you have and enjoy them while you have them.

  • Hmmm...spoken like a true man. He loves having six kids. Well good for him. He probably has a wife at home raising them while he joyfully went to work. Perfect. Gimmee a break. The birth rate has declined due to many economical factors. Everything is expensive. Wages are low even for university graduates. Women have to work now. A typical household needs two incomes- especially when each of those incomes are - at best, average. I don't know many families who live on one income and have multiple children. If they do, it is absolutely a six figure income. Having said that, I don't know any family who is bursting with joy when each parent has to work all day long every day just so they can provide the basic needs for their family and that includes paying a mortgage. It is unrealistic and it is a drain on the economy when people have children they cannot afford.

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    Can someone Please explain to me WHY in many states if I am pregnant & Chose to be so that I can be assulted or hit by a drunk driver & it results in my unborn child dying that it is NOT murder but that is the word being thrown around by those who are "pro-life". If abortion is outlawed & I highly doubt it will be but if it is will these states change the law reguarding those who break the law & my unborn child no longer being able to come into this world becaue of them? Also, I am surprised no one has brought the following up either. Why has noone brought up the financial burden that will e put on this ountry by outlawing abortion? Many women will be forced onto welfare, many children will end up in foster homes because their young mothers thought the could do it but cant, or those who are addicts of some sort & carry to term a child who now must have to suffer the consequences the rest of their lives. Like somehow these people will suddenly make better choices because abortion is not an option.

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