I love spending the day with my daughter. I really like who she is.
Me – Hey girlfriend! Are you ready to kick it today?
Girl – What? I don’ t even KNOW what you are saying about kicking.
Me – I mean are you ready to go and have a fun day together? Kicking it is another way to say that we will have a relaxing and enjoyable day doing things.
Girl – I’m still in my jammies, and that is NOT ready. I thought we were going to the doctor and that is not enjoyable. Am I getting a shot?
Me – I meant ready as in EXCITED, not ready to walk out the door. And remember that we are going to have lunch together and go to Target between appointments and NO you are not getting a shot.
Girl – Lunch isn’t really fun, it’s just eating food to make poop. Target is not as fun as Toys ‘r Us. Can we go there?
Me – No we can’t go to Toys ‘r Us. Trust me, today will be fun.
Girl – I don’t even KNOW how you mean right now. You aren’t listening to me very well about fun. We have different funs I think.
AAAAAAND so we are done with the first appointment and driving to lunch.
Me – I’m hungry as a hippo! (She knows this one)
Girl – Well, I’m as hungry as a horse! That is hungrier than a hippo and also hung!
Me – What?
Girl – I am hung like a horse. Am I hung like a horse? What does that mean? Is that like something about my vagina?
Me – Ummm, well it’s about private parts, but where did you hear that expression?
Girl – I don’t know, but I know I’m that hungry. Big horse hungry. Not in my vagina though. I’m hungry in my tummy.
Me – Yeah me too, I mean who has a hungry vagina, right?
Girl – Maybe horses do. Let’s go kick lunch next.
AAAAAAAAAND now we are at Target.
Girl – Look at this place! It is full of goods and services. I know that from school.
Me – Why yes it is! What an interesting observation. I cannot believe how much you are learning!
Girl – Why can’t you believe it? School is where you learn things. What did you think I was doing in school? Eating lunch and kicking it?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND then we are at the second doctor’s appointment.
Girl (to doctor) – Did you go to college?
Doctor – Nope, I just went to Mexico and got myself a doctor’s kit.
Girl – They have those at Toys ‘r Us. You should have gone there. It’s closer than Mexico.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND we are eating dinner.
Girl – We are kicking it again!
Boy – What?
Girl – Like hung horses. Eating is part of kicking.
Me – Don’t ask.
Boy – I wasn’t going to.
Girl – You wouldn’t understand because you don’t have a vagina.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND I’m tucking her into bed.
Girl – So Mom, did we kick it like horses today or what?
Me – Neeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh,Girlfriend! We kicked it for real!
Girl – I don’t know why you said that, but I liked your fun today Mom and you. I like you.
Me – I like you too.
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