Kicking it your own way

I love spending the day with my daughter. I really like who she is.

Me – Hey girlfriend! Are you ready to kick it today?

Girl – What? I don’ t even KNOW what you are saying about kicking.

Me – I mean are you ready to go and have a fun day together? Kicking it is another way to say that we will have a relaxing and enjoyable day doing things.

Girl – I’m still in my jammies, and that is NOT ready. I thought we were going to the doctor and that is not enjoyable. Am I getting a shot?

Me – I meant ready as in EXCITED, not ready to walk out the door. And remember that we are going to have lunch together and go to Target between appointments and NO you are not getting a shot.

Girl – Lunch isn’t really fun, it’s just eating food to make poop. Target is not as fun as Toys ‘r Us. Can we go there?

Me – No we can’t go to Toys ‘r Us. Trust me, today will be fun.

Girl – I don’t even KNOW how you mean right now. You aren’t listening to me very well about fun. We have different funs I think.

AAAAAAND so we are done with the first appointment and driving to lunch.  

Me – I’m hungry as a hippo! (She knows this one)

Girl – Well, I’m as hungry as a horse! That is hungrier than a hippo and also hung!

Me – What?

Girl – I am hung like a horse. Am I hung like a horse? What does that mean? Is that like something about my vagina?

Me – Ummm, well it’s about private parts, but where did you hear that expression?

Girl – I don’t know, but I know I’m that hungry. Big horse hungry.  Not in my vagina though. I’m hungry in my tummy.  

Me – Yeah me too, I mean who has a hungry vagina, right?

Girl – Maybe horses do. Let’s go kick lunch next.

AAAAAAAAAND now we are at Target.

Girl – Look at this place! It is full of goods and services. I know that from school.

Me – Why yes it is! What an interesting observation.  I cannot believe how much you are learning!

Girl – Why can’t you believe it? School is where you learn things. What did you think I was doing in school? Eating lunch and kicking it?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND then we are at the second doctor’s appointment.

Girl  (to doctor) – Did you go to college?

Doctor – Nope, I just went to Mexico and got myself a doctor’s kit.

Girl –  They have those at  Toys ‘r Us. You should have gone there.  It’s closer than Mexico.


Girl – We are kicking it again!

Boy – What?

Girl – Like hung horses. Eating is part of kicking.

Me – Don’t ask.

Boy – I wasn’t going to.

Girl – You wouldn’t understand because you don’t have a vagina.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND I’m tucking her into bed.

Girl – So Mom, did we kick it like horses today or what?

Me – Neeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh,Girlfriend! We kicked it for real!

Girl – I don’t know why you said that, but I liked your fun today Mom and you. I like you.

Me – I like you too.


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  • Love this!

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    She's amazing! I can't wait until my son begins the process of talking, but then again, I am probably going to be pretty amazed at how literal he takes me because I mess around WAY too much for my poor Aspie! He's probably going to walk around telling everyone he's going to "eat them up" or " pinch their butts" or " run from the ice cream man because he is Satan"....yeah...this could get interesting....

  • elizabeth, it is fascinating to hear kids and their point of view. and WHO told him the ice cream man is Satan? TERRIBLE! ice cream is totally a way to kick it.

  • and i loved living it. being with her is my heaven.

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    this is SOOOOOO my way of "kicking it" with my daughter. sounds very familiar. thanx for letting me know i'm not the only one

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    Awesome, couldn't help but laugh to myself, its fun to kick it with our girls my daughters 8 and toys r us is always her want to go place, thankfully she doesn't think shes hung like a horse but man can my green bean eat!! lol

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    There is so much right about these exchanges.

    First off, good to know I'm not the only one kicking it for reals.

    Second, my vagina is hungry.

    Third, I love your doctor.

    Fourth, i <3 u and little missy. Thanks.
    Love, Lisa

  • Oh my goodness. This had me laughing out loud. Kids are awesome. They say the best stuff and are endless sources of entertainment.

  • I like you, too.

  • This really was very funny! Your doctor's response was hilarious! He must know your daughter well.

    I would be concerned about the hung like a horse thing and all the vagina talk. Good to be knowledgable but it's kinda weird.Hopefully that kind of stuff doesn't come out at school.

    I like your son's response.

    I laughed about the whole day. Kids are great!

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    My daughter and I have only two words when it comes to a perfect day of kickin' it.....pajama day.

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    I haven't laughed "out loud" in a long time. Thanks for sharing that.

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    OMG I LOVE you daughter!!! I have conversations with my 12 year old daughter like this all the time! Funny shit!!

  • My daughter is 16. Told me Tuesday "I hate you, get out of my life" I replied "I love you and no". I miss Doctor days. Your writing cheers me up as I try to raise a successful human. I apprecaite that.

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