My mom is a lady and a woman of few words. Clearly, I take after my father. Cancer took him in 2003. The first time I heard my mom say, “Cancer sucks,” I was shocked. Now when we hear of someone who is battling cancer, she will shake her head and say “Cancer sucks.” She doesn’t say anything else. There isn’t really anything else to say, yet people have a LOT to say about cancer.
It really is that simple. Cancer sucks. Anyone who has had any proximity to cancer knows that it is an all-consuming, soul sucking, whore of a disease. It steals the dignity and spirit of its victims and their families with its unpredictable and opportunistic appetite for destruction. The details are depressing and difficult to digest. I remember when people would ask me how my dad was doing, it was just simpler to say, “Cancer sucks. “
One of my first memories was running amok around a funeral home where my grandfather was being waked. I was 6 years old and my cousin and I were tearing up the place! Running by his casket, I’d stop to take a peek, look at the tie-tack with all of these grandchildren’s birth stones, touch his cold, hard hand and tell him that I’d miss him before taking another lap around the room. Because I was constantly around sick and dying people for the next 5 years, I got used to hearing all the talk about God and His plans. I never believed for a hot second that God planned for anyone to get cancer and I think it’s an insult to God to even suggest such a thing. I’ve been trying to defend God against this slander for about 30 years now.
Cancer is a bad and stupid thing. Nobody likes it, and nobody wants it. Anybody that likes God in any way, shouldn’t be talking smack about how he would make some conscious decision to create and slap a rare and impossible to contain toxic tumor on the brain of a CHILD! Seriously, does that make us feel better? To blame God? And around a child who thinks in black and white who is already in pain and afraid. “Hey little one! This torture and agony? Well, God chose you. It’s the plan for you.”
It’s a bag of flaming crap, suggesting that cancer could be part of any plan. It’s as ridiculous and useless blaming God for my sucky grammar and spelling. I mean do we really think God is a soul crushing jackass who has such little regard for humanity as to engage in the cruel business of choosing who gets the biggest dose of suffering?
We are born and we die. Nobody knows for sure about the before and after life stuff, because we have to leave our bodies behind and the next place we go uses a different form of communication. I know this because if it was the same, we’d all be having a chit chat with our dead loved ones and there would be a rad instruction book like the trusty ol’ Bible to give us the 411. There are just some things that are so obvious that it pains me to even have to listen to some ignoramus spewing out their gob about what they know about God. Like I said before – bag……of……crap.
Trust me on a few things here; 1) Cancer sucks 2) If God were a person (which God is not) and God was capable of hate (which God is not) God would probably hate cancer. Being all knowing and all powerful, the facts support God knowing how much cancer sucks therefore God surely does NOT like it, therefore God would NOT do #3 which is next here, 3) God does not decide who gets cancer as part of a plan. When I hear someone say, “This is part of God’s plan,” I have to run in the other direction so that I don’t assault them with my raging fists and furious verbal beat down.
Faith doesn’t have room for logic and logic doesn’t have room for crap. They can co-exist, but they go together about as well as peanut butter, cognac and urine. It’s taken me awhile to get to my point, but I do have one.
September is cancer awareness month, specifically cancer in children, which really sucks. Being aware of something doesn’t mean needing to explain or understand that something, so don’t. Just be aware. I suggest taking the time to just BE with a person whose child has cancer. To let them BE with you or not, if that’s what they choose. To know that words of comfort most likely don’t exist. If you can BE with someone, you are fulfilling the purpose of being GOLD.
Gold is the color representing childhood cancer. Be a golden friend to a person whose child has cancer. Be valuable and dependable, hard when you need to be strong for them and soft enough for them to fall into your arms from sheer exhaustion. Be aware of this. Be smart about this. Just BE mindful of the simple fact that children get cancer and some of them die and that you don’t have to make it better because you can’t because cancer sucks.
Oh, and I think we need to let God off the hook for this as well, I mean from what I understand, God is clearly very busy punishing gay people on the east coast with earthquakes and wildfires in Texas. Surely he doesn’t have time right now to choose to give a toddler cancer.
I’m featuring Mary Tyler Mom’s writing about her daughter Donna and their journey with cancer. http://www.chicagonow.com/mary-tyler-mom . This blog is brave and wonderful. You will need kleenex. And God.
My opinion. The end.
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