It might matter

Before I realized what I was getting myself into, I started blogging about parenting. I didn’t stop even once to consider the kind of reaction I would get. Why would I? I started a little group for my friends, who happened to be like minded parents with an appreciation for absurd, reality based rants.

 Reality is so random and so raw. I read all sorts of blogs. I love the opinions. My favorite thing about reading other blogs is feeling the passion behind the message. The strong opinions of writers who have chosen to put themselves out there for both praise and criticism fascinate me. I read a lot, comment very little and think metric fuck TON about the things I am learning from my blog reading adventures.

Now that I have some basic level of understanding about the blog world and the people in it, I’m having much more trouble with my own writing. Blogs about cooking, sports and politics have the ability to keep me riveted and consistently interested because the topics are varied and always changing with the events of the day. Blogs about parenting are harder to follow and even more difficult to love, because the themes of parenting never change.  Does what I say matter to anyone but me?

If moms were blogging in the 1960’s, they’d be bitching about the sexual revolution and disconnect between their depression era values and the free thinking/smoking/loving behavior of their rebellious teenagers. The context will always change, but the basic issues that frustrate parents of teenagers will remain.  Teenagers were, are and will always be the most exasperating bunch of humans on Earth. Some might argue that toddlers deserve that crown. I can’t disagree. Teen vs. Toddler? How would we even select the criteria to judge? That’s a topic for another blog.

When I write about my experience, I write about the intensity of it. I’m learning about being a person by being a parent. There will rarely be a time when I talk about things that aren’t relatable to others. Specifics about my life and my family are limited to how they relate to others. I’m quick and to the point. You won’t find paragraph after paragraph describing things specific to my family. That shit isn’t even interesting to me. So the question remains, does it matter that I write? I’m just one of a thousand mom bloggers now.

I do have a point here. Bloggers must have thick skin. I didn’t know this when I started writing a blog so it’s good that I’m duck like in my ability to let a lot of the negative roll off my back. There are times when I read something that is so powerful and relatable to me, that is changes my life. I had my “spiritual awakening” of sorts years ago, and it came on with the combination of intense life experience, reading and the combination of these two things. It changed me as a person and those changes made me into a completely different sort of parent.  I imagine this has been the experience of millions of mothers for thousands of years. What someone else wrote mattered to me.  It mattered so much that my life took on a whole new meaning.

I want to believe that what I say can make a difference to someone who needs life to be different. It happened for me, to me. It will continue to happen to parents until the end of time. Each time a baby is born, we marvel in the miracle of life. It’s no different than the billions of births that came before, yet it is. It’s a LIFE. A new life, open to all the possibilities and with each new life, a parent is born.

I keep writing because it might matter. It mattered to me so I’ll pay it forward.

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  • I started reading these parenting blogs to see what else was going on out there. To see if I was the only one who felt like I didn't know what the hell I was doing at times. I think I have at least touched on the majority of them and what I have found is that I am an awesome mom! My kids don't look like freakin' hippies that need a haircut months ago, my kids don't have FB and I DON"T FEEL GUILTY about it. My teenager isn't aloud to date yet or hang out on the f'n street with other kids that have nothing else to do because he gives me a hard time about it.

    I don't care what the popular thing is out there in the parenting world. I run the fucking show. If my kids don't like it now maybe when they grow up and they don't have skin cancer( because I made them wear sunscreen) and they are not in jail (becasue of all my nagging about everything illegal) or paying child support at the age of 16 or17 (because you are not allowed to hang out with girls alone when there is no supervision) or some other god aweful thing they will thank me.

    I have learned that I learn as I go. I learn as they grow. And I make my decisions with my heart and my gut. IF something doesn't feel right, then it's just not right and the answer is no! Swearing is not allowed why? Because it is not right! I don't give a fuck what anyone says no kid I don't care how old, especially younger kids, should be swearing. I have no idea what that is supposed to prove? Freedom of expression? At the age of 8? 10? Ridiculous. Then it slips when inappropriate, what then. IT's not cute at any age. You raise foul mouthed teenagers that have no respect. Wrong thing to do.

    But again, I learn as I go and as they grow. Like you I am VERY opinionated and have a very hard time keeping my mouth shut. I am trying to learn. That is one of my struggles in life.

    As any parent trying to do the best they can everyone has their own way. Is one better than the other? Every family is disfunctional in their own way. Every single one! The key is to realize it and break the chain in some way.

    I will continue to read all these blogs to reinforce the fact that I am not the one who is fucked up. I AM FUCKING AWESOME!!!!

  • In reply to mixemup:

    "i have learned that i learn as i go. i learn as they grow." THAT is the truth. your words are deep and true and if we all just remember that, life is much easier.

  • Love the Albert Einstein quote. One of the things I need to work on as a parent is focusing more on m daughter's good qualities over her bad ones. hope you know that your blog and your facebook page are loved by many and you DO make a difference in people's lives. You give people a safe outlet where they can express the realities of parenting without feeling judged or shitty. Rather than making us feel like we have to fit into some picture perfect idea of family, you help us feel and understand what is REAL. I love being real with my daughter. I refuse to talk to her like she is still wearing diapers. She's 6 now, and she is one smart ass 6 year old. She understands both humor and sarcasm to the point that I have often seen her as being a comedian when she grows up. Not only that but she has the wisdom to recognize when adults are being stupid assholes. So I can be REAL with this child because she can take it. She is the most real and accepting child I have ever been around, and I love her for it.

  • In reply to Allison Carpenter:

    einstein seemed to really get "it." the big picture. i'm glad you like the blog and i do plan to keep writing. it's fun and then people like you take the time to write and encourage me. we just do this for each other and it's important. until the world burns out or a life ending meteor hits, we are in this together. xo, allison.

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    I love your posts. I am not in Chicago, but maybe I should be. You are very original and sick!

  • In reply to tracidb80:

    why thank you. being called original is rad, but you added sick and now i'm sure i'm doing it right. :)

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