Category: Comedy

Fast Food Avengers: The Chicken Wars (Part 1)

Fast Food Avengers: The Chicken Wars (Part 1)
To understand the current fried chicken sandwich battle (also known as “The Chicken Wars”), one must go deeper into history and study the origin story of our iconic fast-food restaurants. Like a greasy version of The Iliad, this epic poem sets “the table,” so to speak, for the fast-food universe. This, my friends, is how... Read more »

The extroverts are coming

The extroverts are coming
There was a loud thud in the middle of the night. The groggy watchman lumbered up the steps to the top of the castle tower. He heard another thud and a roar of laughter down below. The watchman saw hundreds of kayaks crossing the Chicago River. A dozen of these plastic boats were now harbored... Read more »

50 Medium Rare jokes

Ever since March of 2020, I’ve been cautious to write anything comedic. My internal fear-based logic being, “How can you make jokes when (blank) is happening.” And for 15 months, it seems like we’ve had a pile of (blank) every single day. I write today’s post not to be insensitive or aloof from all the... Read more »
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Zoom fatigue and the return to work

Zoom fatigue and the return to work
On Monday morning, there was a Zoom call. 8:30 am. The manager had Mike send out the link. Mike, Carol, and Meghan signed in first. Terrence and Lincoln joined shortly after. Kris had somehow spent the last seven weeks in the Zoom waiting room. “Great, looks like we’re just waiting on Catherine,” the manager said. “And Jack from Del... Read more »

Reclaiming something you love to do

Reclaiming something you love to do
One of my earliest memories was back in kindergarten. Mrs. Kraut handed us green hats with big frog eyes on the top. She taught us a song to perform to our parents, the lyrics were loaded with frog-based puns. There was this moment toward the end of the song, somewhere in the chorus, when I blurted out, “Sing... Read more »

The subtle rise of the pine cone

The subtle rise of the pine cone
It was the Monday after Thanksgiving. The marketing team slowly walked into the Midwestern conference room. They were all making small talk about turkey and mashed potatoes and how the Lions never fail to disappoint. “Ralph said he’s gonna ask the Lions to be the pallbearers at his funeral,” Mike said to Carol as they entered the... Read more »
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The computer room

The computer room
The Living Room is the main showcase piece of any house. Your best chairs, best couch. Living rooms give off the impression that your family comes home, turns on Mozart, and reads from the great Russian novels. No spills, no swears, not even a bad thought has ever taken place in the Living Room. And so when... Read more »

Smash Mouth's "All-Star" turns 20-years-old

Smash Mouth's "All-Star" turns 20-years-old
It was the summer of 1999. I was headed to summer camp at Barstow Woods. The camp was two miles away from my elementary school, but felt like an entirely different world. Barstow Woods introduced kids from all across Midland. You had Parkdale. Plymouth. The Catholic kids from Blessed Sacrament. There was an elementary school... Read more »

We let sandwich prices get out of control (part 4/finale)

We let sandwich prices get out of control (part 4/finale)
Disclaimer: You don’t have to read these posts in order, but it will make way more sense if you start out with “We let sandwich prices get out of control: Part 1 followed by Part 2 and Part 3.  The basic premise is that sandwich prices have gotten out of control and our only hope to avoid the inevitable $20 price... Read more »
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We let sandwich prices get out of control (part 3)

We let sandwich prices get out of control (part 3)
Disclaimer: You don’t have to read these posts in order, but it will make way more sense if you start out with “We let sandwich prices get out of control: Part 1.” followed by Part 2. The basic premise is that sandwich prices have gotten out of control and our only hope of avoiding the inevitable $20 price... Read more »