I would like to thank you for reading this headline... but it's not the whole story!

I would like to thank you for reading this headline... but it's not the whole story!
Source: Reusableart.com.

Maybe it’s the Oscars and “I would like to thank the academy” speeches; maybe it’s the primary election and the frequent use of “I would like to introduce” or other conditional phrases. Whatever the reason, I’m sick and tired of hearing that people “would like to thank” or “want to thank” someone for something.

If I hear that from someone I know, here’s warning — I’m likely to say “Then thank me!”

If you want to do something or would like to do something, that leaves open the possibility that it won’t happen.

For example, I would like to write this in German — but I couldn’t spell it and most of you couldn’t read it, so I will stick to writing in English.

I would like to visit my cousins in many different states, but I don’t have that kind of money (nor that many vacation days).

I would like to watch the Blackhawks win the Stanley Cup another time… but they have to finish the season and play the playoffs first.

So if you catch yourself saying (or writing) that you would like to do something, try just taking out the “dead would” — and compare:

I would like to thank you for reading this. (and)

Thank you for reading this.

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  • Zum Beispiel würde Ich mag diese in deutscher zu schreiben - aber ich konnte es nicht und die meisten von Ihnen konnte es nicht lesen, also werde ich das Schreiben in Englisch halten. I had the advantage of Google Translate, but have enough comprehension of hoch schule deutsch to figure out that the Übersetzung ist richtig.

    I over use other conditionals, such as "apparently," but that must be that I distinguish hearsay from perception.

    But seeing the headline I thought you were making a substantive comment about headlines,such as that the copy editor wrote it and the reporter disclaimed it. Reminds me of when Dennis Byrne had a headline "Obamacare IS unconstitutional." I skipped the discourse and commented that he did not have the capacity to know. 8 months later, I posted there that the Supreme Court proved me correct (on the legal issue).

  • In reply to jack:

    Thank you, but please stick to English. I'd much rather not even have people switching away from here to Google, and I've seen by trying their French translating that it isn't all that exact.

  • "Dead would" indeed!

  • In reply to folkloric:

    Thanks. I couldn't resist!

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