Spoiler Alert: Do not read if you haven’t seen Scandal Season 5, Ep. 15 – “Pencils Down.”
“She’s a muppet! Not even one of the main ones. She’d be way in the back. They’d only let her tambourine in their little muppet band.” — Liz
After weeks of fumbling with the setup, we’re finally entering into a plotline that promises to be intriguing: the election of the next president of United States of America. And, like the real election, the first step is determining the nominees.
Because we have more known entities on the Republican side, that is where we begin. This week our Republican nominees prepared for their first debate. Well, Mellie and Susan prepared. Hollis cooked bacon on a machine gun. And, even before this real-life election cycle proved that Americans are too easily swayed by showmanship in place of policy, its not hard to see that that is much more impressive than lying about eating at Gettysburger.
Meanwhile, the Democratic nominees are shaping up to be just as interesting as the Republicans. In one corner we have Frankie Vargas, being run by Cyrus and his shady brother. By the way, remember when Cyrus was looking for dirt on Frankie and literally could find nothing? I would think that a brother who has continuously bribed and blackmailed your way into office would rank pretty high on the dirt scale. And it’s not like it was hard information to find. It was literally headline news. Anyway, on the other side is Edison Davis, Olivia’s ex boyfriend who is being funded by a secret Super PAC run by Rowan and Jake. Yes, this is going to be quite interesting indeed.
But of course, what the nominees have to say is of little to no importance. The people behind the scenes are waging the real war; and they’re already getting dirty. Frankie’s shady brother, Alex, approached Olivia with dirt on Susan in exchange for dirt on Edison. Olivia was conflicted due to Edison’s support during the affair scandal, but as soon as she found out he’s her father’s pawn all bets were off. And apparently Susan was caught in the crossfire.
Speaking of Susan, she just keeps getting better every week. She finally found out that David was cheating on her and after one, brief moment of denial she kicked him to the curb with a flick of her cigarette and a curt reminder that he would still honor his commitment to her image. Hell yes! Who cares what dirt Olivia might have on her? This woman is kickass without even trying. She could club a baby seal on that debate stage and it would come off as endearing.
And lets, for a moment, compare Susan to our so-called protagonist. While Susan was off preparing beautiful, smart talking points and cleaning up her personal life, Olivia spent the episode trading secrets and giving her engaged, psychotic ex-boyfriend handys in the ladies room. Call me old school, but in my day threats were delivered with our words, not our hands.
So, with all that in mind, who would you vote for, gladiators?
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