DARLING...FINALIZE MY DIVORCE BEFORE LUNCH

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“Hey Pool boy, I’ll have a Coconut Water in a chilled glass with shaved, not crushed or cubed ice and a wedge of a Tahitian lime. If I accidentally drink any pulp or seeds, someone’s head is going to roll.”

Ah, yes celebrity. For those accustomed to a world of well-stocked green rooms and fawning sycophants, the legal milieu provides a harsh reality of unbending parameters. When two celebrities start divorce proceedings, say Courteney Cox and David Arquette, the legal teams must cater to not just one, but two opposing clients who often think the world can be tailored to their expectations.

For a high profile couple, the same laws and statutes apply to the dissolution of their union, but often it’s their lawyers who must adopt a different approach by being available 24/7 to provide not only legal advice, but ego stroking and hand holding. Don’t pity those high profile California divorce attorneys; a billable hour is a billable hour.

Plus, celebrity clients might be more willing to spend money on litigation rather than settle. While the average couple might do a cost benefit analysis before engaging in a costly trial, celebrities have their perceived reputations to protect and want to win not only the financial and legal battles, but the court of public opinion. Their most valuable asset is often their name and reputation.

In addition, they are more likely to fight over intellectual property and the rights to future earnings. Cox and Arquette own the production company that has launched several film and television projects, including the show “Cougar Town.” The television series stars Cox, but Arquette is the show’s producer.

Whether Cox and Arquette become embroiled in a protracted legal battle has yet to be determined, but rest assured, there’s plenty of law firms ready and willing to serve up celebrity divorce papers with or without the lime.

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