I have a wonderful life and would not trade it for anyone else’s, but I have been disappointed and saddened by many aspects of it especially in the last few years. I have never found lasting love, and I am still struggling to earn enough that I can support myself fully and be able to afford to travel and do some of the things I would like to do. I write a blog and self-published two books, and would like to earn some money and have some success, but I can’t even find an agent interested in the last book I wrote called Suppression.
I dream about meeting someone, changing careers or being promoted, and of going on tours to share my books with others, but it is hard. Do I just keep creating a life without a significant other? Do I keep applying for promotions at work even if I am rejected? Do I just write for myself and for the joy in it and give up on finding an agent or keep submitting it? Rejections are so difficult, and they dim my light each time they occur. When is enough? I know that everyone has dreams and wishes, but when is the right time to let go of them? Today feels like the time, but maybe tomorrow I will wake up with a renewed passion to keep moving forward.
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All through my day, no matter where I go, or what I do, I am always looking for the good in people, in the world, in my life or even just in my day.