If you’re human and being honest with yourself, you’ve felt doubt at some point in your life.
It might have been when you were three years-old, two weeks ago, yesterday or right now. Humans doubt because we don’t understand the creative process—how thoughts turn to things, how outcomes come to be.
Maybe your parents were big worriers who taught you this practice. Maybe it’s something you learned from a coach on the basketball court or even a friend in college. Or maybe you just came into this world with this talent.
Regardless, you realize it’s not serving you in a good way. Time for it to go.
You’ve begun to realize doubt and worry give you stomach pains and panic attacks. Stuff you’d rather not have to live with forever.
No matter how you got to be a proficient doubter and worrier, you realize this habit is unpleasant and you’re ready to make a change.
How to you get rid of doubt?
Before it starts.
I’m not being a smarty pants; I’m serious.
The minute you begin to worry about something—your kids, money, safety, future success, business, getting blog and FB post likes, health, how things will turn out, relationships—you set a strong vibration in motion.
That vibration, like rings on the surface of the water, moves outward and gets bigger. It gathers momentum like a train traveling down the tracks.
Have you ever seen a train traveling 200 miles per hour try to turn around fast? It’s hard on the contents of the train.
Once doubt gets going, it’s hard on the contents of the body and mind to turn it around instantly. I don’t even recommend trying.
You know when you’re worried about something and your BFF tells you, Don’t worry about it. Everything will be fine.
Do you actually stop worrying?
I didn’t think so. (You told her it helped but you weren’t being totally honest. As soon as you got in the car to go home you started doubting it could all work out and began worrying again.)
Shifting the habit of doubting, or worrying about, outcomes you can’t predict (this includes everything in life, BTW) is a practice.
It’s not something you can change in one day or from reading one great blog post about it.
If you find you’re freaking out about something, take a nap. When you withdraw your consciousness from the outside world you halt the uneasy vibration you’re in. That’s the good news.
The bad news is … you’ll pick right back up where you left off when you awaken. At least for a few hours you’ll get relief though.
This is the power of practice.
My daughter was worrying about her trip to Washington, D.C. last night. The 8th grade class trip is today. They’re getting on a plane and heading East at high noon.
As a snuggled her last night, she expressed her worry: she wouldn’t be able to fall asleep, feel well on the bus or plane, her roommate would try to keep her awake all night at the hotel, she wouldn’t have enough time to get all her homework done for Monday, she wouldn’t ….
Telling her NOT to worry was not going to help. It never does. So I didn’t.
I took another approach.
This approach is rooted in the belief that …. Everything is always working out for me.
This is not just a mantra; it’s a belief, a lifestyle, a way of being.
So instead of telling her not to worry, I asked if she wanted to shift her focus.
I started by telling her a story about The Rainbow Sisters. The Rainbow Sisters are unusal tales of three adventurous sisters. The sisters never have the same names or the same adventures but you can count on something ridiculous happening every time. (I started telling the girls these silly stories when they were little. They are THE WORST stories on the planet, but somehow give the girls a sense of security when the world seems scary.)
Then, I suggested maybe she could think about all the great dreams she might have while she slept. There was no need to try and control thoughts.
Just let them go and see where they take you, I suggested. (HINT: She was not trying to “stop” or “control” her doubt. She was “letting it go”.)
I knew from experience that I didn’t need to try to solve this problem for her or “make her feel better”. That is not my job.
My job is to teach her the practice of distraction from worry and doubt. My job is to enable her to stop doubt before it begins—the only real cure.
Posivite outcomes and solutions can never be worried into happening. Doubt and positivity are energetically opposed. They’re incoherent frequencies.
Since I cannot solve any problem FOR her; I cannot actually make her feel better.
When I try, or worse …. allow her to believe I can, I disempower her.
She has the power to solve all her problems; a self-soothing thought process is innate.
She is a complete and whole person at the age of 13. My job is to help her realize this.
I know, from a very basic study of quantum physics (YouTube is the best teacher!), that consciousness has a physics and that vibration (feeling) is all that is.
Since she had already begun to gather doubtful momentum in this moment, it was not practical to try and “stop” the doubt. It had already started and was traveling at a fast rate of speed.
When someone has a lot of momentum going with fear and doubt they always argue for their limitation and why things will go wrong. This is a useless conversation. It never makes a person FEEL better so distraction is more effective.
When you become “dis-tracked”, or get off the track of doubt, you can get on a different track. The track of faith in everything always working out for me is a much more comfortable ride.
Mama? You were right. Your advice worked. I let my thoughts just go last night and fell right asleep. I’m also not so worried this morning, either. was the first thing she said to me this morning.
What I’m teaching my girls is the practice of allowing. I’m showing them, through shifting my own belief and discontinuing the practice of doubt, that things really are always working out for us.
Trust is our natural state, not doubt.
I’m teaching the only real way to stop doubt, before it begins.
If you find yourself doubting and worrying, allow yourself to shift to another track. Do not try and “stop” doubt in it’s tracks.
What you focus on will get bigger.
Instead, get on another train altogether. You’re not being “irresponsible” by letting go of a habit that does not serve you. You’re not being “unrealistic” by turning away from negative thinking.
(Things could go wrong, yes. But things could also go right.)
FYI: Your mom might wonder why you never talk to her about the things you’re worried about anymore … but that’s okay. Just pick another topic to have in common. She’ll try and get you to talk about your doubt, fear and worry but think to yourself New trainline. New habits. New life. I think, I can. I think, I can. I think, I can.
To summarize …. you get rid of doubt before it begins. The next time you realize you’re doubting things will turn out okay, remember by the time you have this awareness you’re already traveling at a high rate of speed. Just go with it.
Then, after a good nap or a good night’s sleep, jump tracks. Be divergent.
Next time you’ll catch it earlier and it won’t get so much momentum going.
Do this again and again and before you know it you’ll be catching doubt before it even begins.
Everyting really is always working out for you.
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