50 Thoughts: With a Little Help from My Friends

I was angry yesterday. Still am today. These are some tough times.

Looking forward, I know the person I want to be is not the one that looks like she could kill you with a steely, cold glare. (Though I would not necessarily turn down that kind of super power if it were granted to me. I don’t know if this would involve being struck with lightning or something like that, but it could be a nice accessory the further down the rabbit hole we fall.)

So in looking back at really trying times in my first 49 years to assess how I managed through those, one of the most common threads is that of friendship. Times when I thought I would crumble. Losing a baby. Moving to a different state. Struggling to parent a child with special needs. Friends have always been there to hold my hand, support and carry me until I could walk again.

Life’s major trials are something for which we all hope for support, for sure. But it’s not just the trying times that test friendships. It’s the day to day bullshit that really makes the difference. And for that, I’ve been blessed with an incredible repertoire of friends, from those today all the way back to my youngest years. These are the kinds of friends that:

  • Don’t care if your kitchen is clean.
  • Is cool with the fact you put them as an emergency contact on your child’s information card at school, and you didn’t even ask.
  • Put up with your snoring on a girls’ weekend.
  • Would be willing to help you hide a body, or switch size tags in a pair of pants.
  • Doesn’t mind if you borrow clothes.
  • Will be grateful when you point out the iron mark on the back of their sweater.
  • Can totally empathize when you want to bitch about how your husband still can’t figure out how to put his folded, clean clothes away.
  • Loves your kids almost as much as you do. And cheers for them just as loud.
  • IMs you current events play-by-play during a staff meeting.
  • Will talk books and never get bored.
  • Keeps it real and tells you to your face when you look like shit.
  • Will make sure you get back to your dorm room after a night at the bar.
  • Can sit with you and just be present.
  • Lets you cry ugly.
  • Thinks Little Caesar’s and wine make a perfect Friday night witching hour meal.
  • Watches crappy TV with you.
  • Will blow off a work call at 4:59 p.m. but answer yours at 2 a.m.

The sisterhood feels even more meaningful at this moment because of the misogynistic, tribalistic headwinds we are all facing head on, together. My friends are the family I choose, and this circle of mine, from way back in the day to the moment we’re all in now — I wouldn’t trade this squad for anything.

Even for a super power.

Day 1: 50 Days, 50 Thoughts, 50 Books. Book recommendation: The Bitch is Back

Day 2: There Aren’t Any Do-Overs, Are There? Book Recommendation: A Place for Us

Day 3: Is Pop Culture Circling the Drain? Book recommendation: Live from New York

Day 4: Perimenopause in the Age of Trump Book Recommendation: Where’d You Go, Bernadette

Day 5: Take A Knee at the Altar of Common Sense Book Recommendation: How Not to Be a Dick

Day 6: Perspective is the Gift That Keeps on Giving Book Recommendation: A Fine Balance

Day 7: The Accidental Editor Book Recommendation: Theft by Finding: Diaries (1977 – 2002)

Day 8: The First Last of the Firsts Book Recommendation: The Little Book of Hygge

Day 9: All Kinds of Tired Book Recommendation: Believer

Day 10: Overthinking is Anxiety’s Bitchy Best Friend Book Recommendation: Let’s Pretend This Never Happened

Day 11: Where Would You go with a Wayback Machine? Book Recommendation: A Little Life

Day 12: Fall in my Favorite Chicago

Day 13: On Having It All Book Recommendation: Lean In

Day 14: Where Were You When … Book Recommendation: The Nix

Day 15: 5 Things to Purge Before you Turn 50 Book Recommendation: The Art of Tidying Up

Day 16: A Labor Day Salute to Bad Bosses Everywhere Book Recommendation: Steve Jobs

Day 17: Do You Validate?  Book Recommendation: Less 

Day 18: Identity Crisis Code Purple Book Recommendation: Amp’d

Day 19: Character Really Does Count Book Recommendation: Believer

Day 20: Death Before Public Speaking Book Recommendation: The Gifts of Imperfection

Day 21: 15 Things You Should Do Before You Turn 50 Book Recommendation: Drop Dead Healthy

Day 22: Calling BS on “Sticks and Stones” Book Recommendation: Love Warrior

Day 23: My Feet Are My Favorite Part of Me Book Recommendation: Born to Run

Day 24: Self-Help Books Aren’t Half Bad  Book Recommendation: The Book of Joy

Day 25: Going for Gratitude Book Recommendation: The Gratitude Diaries

Day 26: Past Self Meets Future Self Book Recommendation: A Wrinkle in Time

Day 27: The Book is Always Better Book Recommendation: Big Little Lies

Day 28: Three Cheers for Volunteers Book Recommendation: A Secret Gift

Day 29: The Social Network Book Recommendation: The Circle

Day 30: 50 People Who Can Text Me Before Trump Does Book Recommendation: Purity 

Day 31: I’ll Take My Joy Where I Can Find It Book Recommendation: The Book of Joy

Day 32: Humor is My Sixth Sense Book Recommendation: Sick in the Head

Day 33: Anger Comes Second Book Recommendation: The Leftovers

Day 34: Hypocrisy, Much? Book Recommendation: The Favorite Sister

Day 35: Girl Power Book Recommendation:Girls

Day 36: The Kids are All Right Book Recommendation: Ohio

Day 37: Banned Books Week Book Recommendation: the Banned Books list

Day 38: An Open Letter to Congress Book Recommendation: The Ocean at the End of the Lane

Day 39: The Importance of Guilty Pleasures Book Recommendation: The Actress

Day 40: On Stories Never Told Book Recommendation: After Visiting Friends

Day 41: Thank You, Judge Kavanaugh Book Recommendation: Missoula

Today’s recommendation: Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay. Powerful words.

I blather about books. If you’d like my reviews to hit your in-box, you can sign up here. I also promise a spam-free experience —too busy reading to write and email you every day (hahaha except for right now, but we’re getting closer to the end). I am also on Facebook, trolling for friends. Because we all need more friends. More, more, more.

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