Sitting at my daughter’s swim meet tonight, a friend and I were talking about recent doctor’s appointments.
Me: Yeah, my cholesterol has shot up. I gave up bread for awhile, but I really have to focus on that again. And I’ve given up candy. I’m working on cutting back on my sugar.
Me, 5 minutes later: Yep — going to Portillo’s for an Italian beef and a chocolate cake shake. See ya!
Why can’t I do as I say and not do as I do?
I don’t mind the ticky tack stuff like whether I am sticking to a diet or not as much as the bigger lessons I am trying to impart on my kids. Like telling my boys they don’t need to help themselves to a beer every night while I am twirling my glass of wine. Or reminding my daughter not to gossip but then turning around and using the catch-all “I need to vent” as an excuse to chitty chat about things I really don’t need to chitty chat about.
Merriam-Webster defines hypocrisy as “a feigning to be what one is not or to believe what one does not : behavior that contradicts what one claims to believe or feel.” I am not going to throw myself under the bus, it’s not that bad — I just know that this is a character flaw I need to focus on, because the older I get, the ickier it feels.
I’m a big believer in service to others. So why did I walk past the homeless guy outside Walgreens the other day? I think kindness goes far personally and professionally. So why the urge to snark?
Maybe it’s the news cycle that makes hypocrisy an easy target tonight. We see and hear it every day from D.C. — so much so, you wonder if you’re living in some parallel universe. What’s good for the goose is almost never good for the gander.
If I were to offer up a way to combat this, I’d probably defer to critical thinking skills. Kids need to know the difference between right and wrong, sure, but also the nuances, the gray area where those concepts are defined by their own belief set. There’s likely a general consensus around a community’s moral standards, but everyone’s mileage may vary on how exacting they are. To best make that determination, it’s important to be able to examine a situation from a factual standpoint, and then apply personal beliefs to it.
Long story short? Pass on to your kids the standards by which you live your life. What you feel is right. Even when you are not measuring up. But teach your kids to think for themselves. Do it. Then they’ll be able to tell the difference between being hypocritical and being human.
What’s not ok though? Me eating more bread. If you see me out there in the world, call me out on it. I’m kicking hypocrisy to the curb, one breadstick at a time.
Day 1: 50 Days, 50 Thoughts, 50 Books. Book recommendation: The Bitch is Back
Day 2: There Aren’t Any Do-Overs, Are There? Book Recommendation: A Place for Us
Day 3: Is Pop Culture Circling the Drain? Book recommendation: Live from New York
Day 4: Perimenopause in the Age of Trump Book Recommendation: Where’d You Go, Bernadette
Day 5: Take A Knee at the Altar of Common Sense Book Recommendation: How Not to Be a Dick
Day 6: Perspective is the Gift That Keeps on Giving Book Recommendation: A Fine Balance
Day 7: The Accidental Editor Book Recommendation: Theft by Finding: Diaries (1977 – 2002)
Day 8: The First Last of the Firsts Book Recommendation: The Little Book of Hygge
Day 9: All Kinds of Tired Book Recommendation: Believer
Day 10: Overthinking is Anxiety’s Bitchy Best Friend Book Recommendation: Let’s Pretend This Never Happened
Day 11: Where Would You go with a Wayback Machine? Book Recommendation: A Little Life
Day 12: Fall in my Favorite Chicago
Day 13: On Having It All Book Recommendation: Lean In
Day 14: Where Were You When … Book Recommendation: The Nix
Day 15: 5 Things to Purge Before you Turn 50 Book Recommendation: The Art of Tidying Up
Day 16: A Labor Day Salute to Bad Bosses Everywhere Book Recommendation: Steve Jobs
Day 17: Do You Validate? Book Recommendation: Less
Day 18: Identity Crisis Code Purple Book Recommendation: Amp’d
Day 19: Character Really Does Count Book Recommendation: Believer
Day 20: Death Before Public Speaking Book Recommendation: The Gifts of Imperfection
Day 21: 15 Things You Should Do Before You Turn 50 Book Recommendation: Drop Dead Healthy
Day 22: Calling BS on “Sticks and Stones” Book Recommendation: Love Warrior
Day 23: My Feet Are My Favorite Part of Me Book Recommendation: Born to Run
Day 24: Self-Help Books Aren’t Half Bad Book Recommendation: The Book of Joy
Day 25: Going for Gratitude Book Recommendation: The Gratitude Diaries
Day 26: Past Self Meets Future Self Book Recommendation: A Wrinkle in Time
Day 27: The Book is Always Better Book Recommendation: Big Little Lies
Day 28: Three Cheers for Volunteers Book Recommendation: A Secret Gift
Day 29: The Social Network Book Recommendation: The Circle
Day 30: 50 People Who Can Text Me Before Trump Does Book Recommendation: Purity
Day 31: I’ll Take My Joy Where I Can Find It Book Recommendation: The Book of Joy
Day 32: Humor is My Sixth Sense Book Recommendation: Sick in the Head
Day 33: Anger Comes Second Book Recommendation: The Leftovers
Today’s recommendation: Here’s a fun one — The Favorite Sister by Jessica Knoll. All sorts of people pretending to be things they are not. All that hypocrisy doesn’t end well for this crew.
I blather about books. If you’d like my reviews to hit your in-box, you can sign up here. I also promise a spam-free experience —too busy reading to write and email you every day (hahaha except for right now, but we’re getting closer to the end). I am also on Facebook, trolling for friends. Because we all need more friends. More, more, more.
Filed under: mumbo jumbo
