Ten Google Search Terms For Parents (or Maybe Just Me)

imagesIn my thirteen years as a parent, I have seen, heard, and said things I never thought imaginable, as well as faced situations where I was completely clueless.  In many instances, there is no way I would have been able to figure things out without the Internet.  Good or bad, the Google has saved my ass a number of times.

I was in a reflective mood on Mother’s Day and it got me thinking about all those times I was directionless and on the brink of hopelessness when it came to parenting my kids.  I would turn to the Google to take me down a path of knowledge.  Don’t get me wrong, sometimes I was led down a path that involved looking at pics of a Kardashian or a royal baby, or purchasing those cute wedge sandles that keep popping up on the right side of my computer screen, but I digress.  

Here are Ten Google search terms I have entered when this whole parenting thing was way over my head:

  1. How do you check your child for ticks
  2. How do you check your child for lice
  3. How do you check your child for fleas – can kids even get fleas? Jesus Google… please tell me kids can’t get fleas!
  4. Google, how do I hold my shit together when my kid has written on everything with a Sharpie?
  5. Apps for parents to help them understand their middle schooler’s math homework
  6. Inspirational quotes from Oprah (#WhatWouldOprahDo)
  7. WTF is Fortnight?
  8. Is yellow-colored poop normal? Seriously, this can’t be normal can it Google? Is it because my kid swallowed gum?  I told her not to do it.
  9. How do you remove Spider Man stickers without ruining your car’s exterior paint job?
  10. Hypothetically Google… how much would a boarding school in Connecticut cost?


Some Other Fun Blog Posts To Check Out:
Mother’s Day Cards I Think My Kids Might Give Me
10 Things You Will Never Hear Me Say While Shopping At Whole Foods

“Do I really look like this?” – My Magnifying Mirror Experience

Can’t get enough? Here are a couple of my pieces that were published:
Daily Itinerary: Joel Osteen’s Hairdresser, Creating Christ-like Coif Perfection, The Belladonna Comedy
Seven Words I Would Have Children S-P-E-L-L If I Were Running The National Spelling Bee, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

Filed under: Humor, Insights, Parenting

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